originality; cold-fire

Saturday, February 05, 2005

Yes!! Finally!! A new Hard disk!!! haha... cost me 99 bucks.. sad n happy at the same time.. haha..
Anyway, this is all thanks to my sis's bf, Francis, for helping me to purchase and set up my comp.. haha.. Thank god he is here or I'll die a horrible death...

Anyway, went to visit my father's mom ytd... For those of u who know, my family doesn't keep in contact with my father's family (his sisters n brothers n mom). This is cuz of a very old (be4 I was borned) family history. Shall tok abt it a bit.
My father is the eldest son and the other son is the youngest.. Then there r abt 5 sisters (not sure of no).. Apparently, the whole family (including my father's mom) looked down on my father and mother.. When my father wanted to take care of his mom (chinese tradition), his mom said sth like, " you only want to take care of me cuz you want my money. Even if i were to die, I will not stay with you."
Thus my family have not been in contact with that family.. of cuz, there r many other small incidents.. but i shall dwell on them.
Anyway, his mom went to stay with his sisters instead.. And his youngest bro was a gd-for-nth who ran to China cuz he committed some crime n is a drug-addict. (but his mom still finances the bro) From wat I hear, mydad's sisters cheated his mom of her money in one way or another.. n now, she has no money and is staying in a 1-rm flat in bedok alone...
We have been avoiding tt family since I was born (only met them once as i remembered). And we cld jolly-well avoid them all the way. But we went to meet my dad's mom ytd nite.. Cuz my dad still wants to see her in case she died or sth.

So we went there at 8.. The flat is opp Temasek JC. It's those kinda one-rm flats tt r rented out to the poor. It was my first time seeing those kinda place. I was hit by a sudden feeling of happiness tt I dun live there.. (My mom, dad n sis stayed in 1-rm flats in Redhill be4 I was borned. ) It isn't old. In fact, it has juz been renovated (from the looks of it). However, it is dirty. u can practically smell a slight stench. And there r stray cats almost everywhere... The corridor may be new but there isn't any windows.. juz a door. Kinda feel like a prison.. Very enclosed... very restrained...
Then for the very 1st time, I stepped into a 1-rm flat.. It wasn't very very bad.. the whole place is abt the size of my bedroom + my sis bedroom.. then I saw my grandma for like the 1st time (the other time was ages ago).. Nth much to say.. I dunno her dialect... haha... But she still hangs a photo of my grandfather after so long.. And tt was the 1st time I saw a photo of my grandpa.. Really like my dad, I muz say... anyway, my grandma lives alone (got kiked out of the hse by her be-love daughters) After 20 yrs, this was the 1st time, she saw me, the grandson she looked down on and forsaked to look after the child of her daughter... But I dun bear any hatred to her cuz I was too young to feel the anger at tt time.. Now, I'm only seeing this as though it is the life of someone else.. She hugged me n cried when we were abt to leave...

Seriously, my family really pity her.. but after all her had done n said, it's really diff for us to accept her... She, on her part, knew tt things can't be changed.. She did wat she did.. n she did not say or do anything to want us to accept her...

Kinda sad,.. if things had not happened the way it did, life might be diff for her and for everyone in the family.. I suppose I'll be a diff person altogether...
I mean up til now, I have never lived with my grand ma (mother side or father side) be4. I certainly feel ok abt it. I dun remember being jealous tt other kids have got grandma but I suppose the presence of a grandma wld make me a diff person... Maybe I have been broughtup lacking sth in life wthout even realising it... haha...but life's like this, i suppose..

For now, I can only wish her good luck til the day she dies...

The Origin. 2/05/2005 06:55:00 pm

quotes

"You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true." - Dr. Meredith Grey from Grey's Anatomy

'How happy is the little Stone
That rambles in the Road alone,
And doesn't care about Careers
And Exigencies never fears-
Whose Coat of elemental Brown
A passing Universe put on,
And independent as the Sun
Associates or glows alone,
Fulfilling absolute Decree
In casual simplicity-' - How happy is the little Stone by Emily Dickinson

'This is your last chance.
After this, there is no turning back.
You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe.
You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.' - Morpheus, The Matrix

'The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
Not because you'll get it, but because you're doomed not to want it if you do.' - Unknown

'There are plenty of people with good intentions who take the wrong actions in the end' - Gundam Seed Destiny

'Life is no straight and easy corridor along
which we must seek our way,
lost and confused, now and again
checked in a blind alley.

But always, if we have faith,
a door will open for us,
not perhaps one that we ourselves
would ever have thought of,
but one that will ultimately
prove good for us.' - A.J.Cronin

"Every life has one true-love snapshot
Strangers are just family you have yet to come to know
No life is a waste.
The only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone"

"A man can endure alot if he still has hope." - Clyde T. Ellis

" 'Appreciate It.' 2 simple words. A life span of gratitude." - Cinderella Man

"A boxer enters the ring alone. If knocked down, he alone could pick himself up and keep the fight going." - Cinderella Man

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot do." - Eleanor Roosevelt

"Jame J. Braddock: I know this isn't what you wanted. But I can't win if you're not behind me.
Mae: I'm always behind you."

"People die in fairy tales all the time." - Max Baer, Cinderella Man

"Maybe sometimes people need to see someone do it so they can do it." - Father Rorick, Cinderella Man

"You always got ot figure you're not the best man in the world, there might be somebody better. That's the way it was. That's the way boxing is. The champion don't always stand up. There's always somebody coming up to take him. That's a part of life." - Jame J. Braddock

"If either man falls through weakness or otherwise, he must get up unassisted" - The Queensbury Rules, No. 4

"All men have fears, but the brave put down their fears and go forward, sometimes to death, but always to victory" - Motto of the King's Guard in Ancient Greece

"With each passing day in a good marriage, the love for your spouse grow stronger than the day before" - Cinderella Man

"I take responsibility" - President George W. Bush

"Sow a Thought, and you reap an Act;
Sow an Act, and you reap a Habit;
Sow a Habit, and you sow a Character;
Sow a Character, and you reap a Destiny." - Samuel Smiles

"Our doubts are traitors,
And make us lose the good we oft might win
By fearing to attempt - Shakespeare in Measure of Measure

"What does your heart tell you?" - Aragorn, LOTR

"To an outstretched hand we shall respond with an olive branch, but we shall fight fire with the harshest fire ever." - Israeli PM Ariel Sharon

"To deny our own impulses is to deny the very thing that makes us human. " - The Matrix

"Be without fear in the face of your enemies. Be brave and upright that God may love thee. Speak the truth, always, even if it leads to your death. Safeguard the helpless and do no wrong. That is your oath." - Balian of Ibelin, Kingdom of Heaven

"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view... Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it." - Atticus Finch, To Kill A Mockingbird

"It is not our abilities that show what we truly are... it is our choices." - Dumbledore, Harry Potter

"Do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. Even the very wise cannot see all ends." - Gandalf, LOTR

"Ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind. Or forgotten." - Lilo & Stitch

"Your heart is free. Have the courage to follow it." - Malcolm Wallace, Braveheart

"Every man dies, not every man really lives." - William Wallace, Braveheart

credits.
rebelHEART host blogskins Miss M brushes