Sunday, February 14, 2010
As an engineer, I can say this with a great degree of confidence - the geatest lessons in life are not learnt in class. For example, while engineering teaches you about physics, pressure and stuff, what they don't teach you is that it is much easier to poke the a straw into a bubble tea seal when you cover the top end of the straw. I learnt this from an economics major, at a tender age of 23 or so. :P
Jokes aside, I guess my point of typing this blog entry, which I also put onto Fb as a note, is to put into words some of the lessons that I have learnt or some of the values which I hold true as a result of my close-to-25-years of living. It is an important issue which would be nice to to be reviewed maybe after another 25 yrs of living.
To be frank, I can trace everything back to 2 periods of time when these issues/things were ideas spelt out to become affixed in me. Do not get me wrong - I do not mean that I only learn from these two occasssions but rather these two occassions made everything I learn everyday matter. They are the events in my life that in a way give meaning to the tremendous amount of information we all have to process each day. Think of them as points of reflections. Points in time.
The first event or period of time was my study of English Literature in secondary school. Our teacher then, Mr. Jason Lim, was and is still great. He gave us space to be the young, positive (yes, there was a time when I was more positive and cheerful than I am now) and idealistic individuals that people of our age should be. At the same time, he provided us, here and there, with insights of reality is to be. However, all these cannot outshine the most fundamental good that he had done for me. With his choice of the texts to be studied for our 'O' Levels, he provided me with a role-model in our society where role-models are so difficult to come by. I used to think that my role-model was simply Harper Lee's Atticus in To Kill a Mockingbird. Today, during my moment of insight, I figured that the role-model was an ideal that came from 4 areas - To Kill a Mockingbird (TKMB), Romeo & Juliet (R&J), Royal Hunt of the Sun (RHS) and Mr. Jason Lim himself. TKMB showed me the "perfect" man - Atticus who learnt from his mistakes, lived by his values and rationality, and through his actions earning the admiration of not everybody but people who mattered. R&J showed me passion that even today, I so hope to feel. RHS showed me Pizarro - the "imperfect" man hardened by the world but despite all, still hopes to believe. Finally, Mr. Jason Lim, who facilitated us in our interpretation of the texts and thus give meaning to what is otherwise just a text. Here, I have to say that I have simply narrowed down the texts to one thing that mattered but the truth is that it is often the case that what matters is a result of the whole text. They have taught me more than the one line that I have attributed to them here.
The second period of time was, much as I hate to admit it, my time in NS. It was there where I had the opportunity to work with both ends of the spectrum. We already know what the lousier end of the spectrum is like. So let's skip them and move on to the other end - it was at this end that I met, worked with and learnt from a man, Francis Ng, who decided to take go the extra mile to provide me with a learning experience which he could otherwise not provide at all. Just to be clear, I do believe that he did not provide me with that because of favouritism or anything but rather he would do that for anybody who comes into his life. This is what makes me respect him all the more. He adds value to "information" which I have to process each day by putting into words the lessons to be learnt. The lessons I learnt came from everywhere possible - interpersonal skills, tact, leadership, the simple steps to take to move closer to a goal, and so many more. So much that I could say that English Literature provided me an ideal, Francis Ng provided reality. It is here that I wish to highlight some of the lessons I have learnt from this life-mentor of mine. At this point, I also wish to highlight that I am not capable of elaborating on the ideals that I have gained from English Literature any further because I am not confident of putting all those thoughts into words, and i also believe that there are some level of ideals that are meant only for each individual, no two individuals can have the same ideals. I think what I get from English Literature is just that.
- "Walk your talk" is probably a fundamental idea that most of us have learnt from anywhere else. Leadership by example may probably be seen as a subset of this. I was not introduced to this concept by Francis Ng but rather he was the example of it.
- Ownership. The one thing that made me a pretty decent worker for him was that he gave me "ownership" of what is not mine. This sense of ownership made me feel responsible for the mundane work that I had to do and to some extent, some sense of pride was attached to it. Heck.. I even went back to camp when I was on leave as a result of that. The btm line is to give ownership to others whenever possible and try not to take them away from others. Not everything has to be under your control for progress to happen. And not everything has to be as you hope, for them to improve.
- Give praises where and to whom they should be accorded to. It shouldn't take much to admit that somebody is doing something way better than you if that is the truth. What is a simple line to you may matter much to the people who hears it.
- Protect your committee. Even though your committee members may have friction amongst themselves, it does not make any particular sense to complain about them to anybody outside of your committee. On the one hand, you do not wish for others to think that your committee is falling apart but on a more important note, don't you just think that it adds value to the working r/s if you talk things out amongst yourselves. At the same time, do not take credits for yourself, credits should be given to all in the group. This was what he taught me, in as close to his words as possible. In my own words, think - family.
- Differentiate between an honest mistake and one that is intentional. Forgive the honest ones and deal with the intentional ones. In either case, protecting your committee should be of utmost importance. It is not about finding somebody to blame but progress together.
With this being said, it is always a disappointment to hope to live like an ideal but not living up to it. I guess this is what makes you and I human but that is just an excuse....
The Origin. 2/14/2010 11:53:00 am
Saturday, February 06, 2010
I love people watching. I love people watching when I am listening to nice songs from my mp3 player. It is kind of nice to hear "dancing in the moonlight" playing when people are carrying on with their lives.
In any case, I was sitting in Starbucks reading some notes (The cashier was friendly and actually asked me what I was doing in Marina Sq. To which, I said that I was hanging out with a friend but I neglect to mention that after my friend leaves, I would be studying... I have a sad life)
Of course, I day-dreamed a little here and there. During one of which, I recalled some old but sweet memories. Reminded myself of how idealistic I once was. I still hold an idealistic pt of view that when people say that their romance faded away, I think that they just did not put in any effort to recall the past.
Furthermore, I have identified two categories of people who want to get married. The people who wants to have a happy family and the idealistics. Not to say that the first category is not idealistic but idealistic not in the sense that I wish to speak of. The first category are those who would not mind going to SDUs and stuff. Maybe because whether they know it or not, they see the big picture of having a wonderful family life. Then there are the idelistics who are hopeless romantics too. They somehow believe not so much in the happy family part but are more focus on the moment of falling in love. They probably can find love anywhere and anytime as long as fate somehow comes into play. But they just cannotaccept the SDU kind of workings.
Doesn't take much to guess which one I fall into.
The Origin. 2/06/2010 11:02:00 pm