Tuesday, September 25, 2007
A friend asked me about my views on long distance relationship some time ago. I didn't exactly have an answer then. I just said that I thought that it is possible and depends la~ Come to think about it, there is no general view on LDR. There should not be anyway. Questioning one's faith in a LDR is like questioning his/her own faith in himself/herself and also in the other party. Just my thoughts la...
The Origin. 9/25/2007 10:12:00 pm
Monday, September 24, 2007
I was bored and decided to randomly type a word and search for it. The word is "emo' and here is the link. I was pretty facinated when I saw this article of wikipedia. I suddenly recall a fren's words that he wiki-ed some love problems. haha..
To some extent, I kind of like the times I spend mugging right now. It is the amount of effort put into understanding the concepts that essentially keep desired but sad thoughts out of the brain.
There is only this much one can do...
Here's just one example abt how Bon Jovi's song has some kind of a 'you' factor.
Seat Next To You ( I think the melody of this song sux btw)
Long slow drive down an old dirt road You've got your hand out the window, listening to the radio That's where I wanna be... On an old park bench in the middle of December Cold hard rain fallin', can't find no cover That would be alright with me... Hard days, good times, blue skies, dark nights Baby, I want you to take me ... wherever you're going to Maybe say that you'll save me ... a seat next to you In the corner booth of a downtown bar, with your head on my shoulder Smokin' on a cheap cigar...that would be alright with me In the back row of a movie or a cross-town train I wanna hear your voice whispering my name...that's where I wanna be Hard days, good times, blue skies, dark nights Baby, say that you'll take me ... wherever you're going to Maybe say that you'll save me ... a seat next to you Life is like a ferris wheel, spinnin' around When you get to the top it's hard to look down Just hang on ... we'll make it through Save me ... a seat next to you When you get to the gates and the angels sing Go to that place where the church bells ring You know I'll come runnin' ... runnin' to find you Baby, say that you'll take me ... wherever you're going to Maybe I want you to save me ... a seat next to you A seat next to you A seat ... next to you A seat ... next to you
The Origin. 9/24/2007 09:00:00 pm
Thursday, September 20, 2007
I came to a conclusion as to why some people think that I look like I have a CAP of 2.5 or that I sometimes sound more rational than I look. The first level of reasoning is that I have the 'what the hell am I doing here' kind of look when I'm in school. Then to a deeper reasoning is that I don't only have that look when I'm in school. I have it on most of the time and it is just that at other times, some other expressions take over.
I think it has something to do with my views about life, which is essentially nothing. Frankly, I don't see much meaning in life. I mean we come, we live and we die. It is just a cycle we are in. Religion is simply a form of escapism by justifying an end and giving life meaning. This, we can never really prove until we get there. (sorry to all the religious people out there!)
So why don't I just die now and escape this cycle, this mundane lifestyle? Well.. Let's say you are in France for a tour by yourself. For some reason, you do not really have a need to get to anywhere else or complete anything after your trip, just simply that you go home at the end of your trip. You bought a train ticket to get from Grenoble to Annecy. Somewhere along you missed your stop and the next stop is Geneva in Switzerland. (This incident of missing the stop actually happened when I was in France). Obviously you have no choice but to alight in Geneva, where you haven't been to. Since you don't really have to rush to anywhere, why not just stay in Geneva for a while longer and see how things go? It is the same case. We are all just going to reach the state of death at the end anyway. Why not just stay here and see how things go? Ha.. It is one of my rare attempts in doing an analogy.
On a separate note, we are as real as we can get in our daily interactions with one another. Or rather, we try to be so. However, there is just 'one inch' of you that you never really share with others. You do not really go around telling people about the issues, the thoughts or the feelings that are encompassed within this inch.
They can consist of anything actually. Your view on life, death, love, the world, people around you, what pisses you off, how much you love somebody etc. And it really depends on who you are, what you are and how you are at any point in time. For example, maybe you are in such an 'emo' state that you just let everything out or maybe you really want to share this precious inch with somebody you want to or know you can trust.
The thing is even without sharing these, you are still the real you. Maybe the incomplete you but essentially you are still as real as you can get. It is not about hypocrisy, just that maybe you are afraid of being vulnerable in front of others or for whatever reasons. It is that one inch of you that you hold true in some sense (although these may change). Me.. I will share I guess if the opportunity comes, which it rarely does. I don't really care how others view me, just the views of who is important. Sigh.. Which may be a reason why I am forever tensed up in front of gals I like.
Finally, here's a duet by Leann Rimes and Bon Jovi - Till We Ain't Strangers Anymore. I thought it to be rather nice. I posted 2 links below one is the full life version while the other has a short clip on Bon Jovi talking about the song. Something I like about Bon Jovi's ballads (after the album Crush) is that they have a strong element of being about 'you', the lover. The lyric are simple in that they are not trying too hard to say how love is so great and they are about 'you' in many sense. I think they make love so simple and nice. oh well.. Here are the links and the lyrics.
1) Till We Ain't Strangers Anymore (Live) 2) Till We Ain't Strangers Anymore (Interview) 3) Lyrics It might be hard to be lovers But its harder to be friends Baby pull down the covers Its time you let me in Maybe light a couple candles Ill just go ahead and lock the door If you just talk to me baby Til we aint strangers anymore
Lay your head on my pillow I sit beside you on the bed Dont you think its time we say Some things we havent said It aint too late to get back to that place Back to where, we thought it was before Why dont you look at me Til we aint strangers anymore
Sometimes its hard to love me Sometimes its hard to love you too I know its hard believing That love can pull us through It would be so easy To live your life
With one foot out the door Just hold me baby Til we aint strangers anymore
[Solo]
Its hard to find forgivness When we just run out of lies Its hard to say youre sorry When you cant tell wrong from right It would be so easy To spend your whole damn life Just keeping score So lets get down to it baby There aint no need to lie
Tell me who you think you see When you look into my eyes Lets put our two hearts back together And we'll leave the broken pieces on the floor Make love with me baby Til we aint strangers anymore
We're not strangers anymore We're not strangers We're not strangers anymore
The Origin. 9/20/2007 10:41:00 pm
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Ok. I do not usually ride on to the "current hot topic" and discuss about it on my blog but I found this a rather 'inspiring' (as used by the person who informed me about it) article. Just a brief low down, this article, "singapore teacher removes coming out blog under ministry pressure" described MOE's reaction regarding Otto Fong's blog entry on himself being a gay. Basically, MOE requested that he take down the blog entry, which he did. To some extent, I feel that given the current environment we are in today, it was the only right thing that MOE should do given that they knew about the entry. It is something that they ought to do given their position and the direction they are coming from. And given the fact that they did not fire Mr. Fong, it is pretty obvious that they are being as neutral as they possibly can. (Although it could be argued that they are in a fix cuz if they were to fire Mr. Otto, the issue will be even more blown up) However, that is not the issue I am concerned with here. (go to page 2 of the linked article)
Personally, I found that this blog entry is inspiring in that it is as much about asking people to accept and be brave about their differences as it is about his journey towards opening up about his sexuality. It is not just about secretly continuing your 'very different' characters, way of thinking or habits but more of showing to the world who you are. It is having the guts to stand up and shout, "I am different!" At this point, I tend to oppose a little as to Mr. Fong's last para about hoping his friends would remember who he is and accept him. I feel that after declaring that you are different, it is a test of true commitment, friendship and whatever related. It is actually to see who value you enough to overstep their personal limits (of acceptance) and accept you for who you are. It would of course be great if they all do but if they don't, it is only sad that one has wasted their time getting to know people who do not value them. Otherwise, there is essentially nothing to be sad about.
Lastly, there is this thing about the homosexual agenda is to make the whole world homosexual. I have only one explanation for that. They, who said that, are the people who may have felt feelings for people of the same sex but did not have the courage to be different.
The Origin. 9/13/2007 09:17:00 pm
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Ok. I have re-used this ancient skin because my previous skin was rather screwed up (partly due to my manipulation of it) and also because I tried to search for a new skin with whatever time I had and I couldn't find one that I like. Or rather like as much as I like this skin.
On a separate note, Negotiating Moral Issues has been fun for this 2 weeks because (no surprises here) we talked about Suicide and Euthanasia. Not that I am a big fan of committing suicide la~ If anything, these are the topics that bring the theme of death closer to us as compared to other biomedical issues. There was no definite conclusion drawn by the prof but the arguments he presented were against suicide. However, I would like to point out an argument for euthanasia - we have a right to live and therefore we have a right to choose when we die. Try thinking of it in terms of suicide.
[breaks for Grey's Anatomy.... We have 2 hrs special tonight!! Yes!!]
Next, I think there are certain boundaries in life which you never know if you should cross. Of course, these boundaries may already have been set by ourselves. From one point of view, these are just stupid boundaries set by ourselves. From another, do we really have the guts to suffer the consequences if we overstep them?
Finally, i caught 15 mins of a chinese talkshow sponsored by some slimming company in SG. It was on Ch 8/U. I found it irritating how they apparently went through discussions about life, history and stuff, and later they bring across their message that slim girls are pretty. Suckers!
The Origin. 9/12/2007 09:31:00 pm
Monday, September 10, 2007
The beauty of a piece of song is how it tries to connect to your soul. I said try because a song can be at times meaningful and at others meaningless to one. For example, a love song about the feelings of one being rejected will only be meaningful to you if you are going through a rejection at that point in time as you are listening to it. Similarly, the case for a song about being with a soul-mate for years or even anger felt about the world.
At the same time, what is meaningful to one is not the case to another or even what one views a single song to be is different from how another views the same song.
Also, there is no single song that can describe your emotions accurately at a time. Maybe partially but not fully accurate.
What am I talking about or heading towards, I have no idea.....
The Origin. 9/10/2007 11:29:00 am
Friday, September 07, 2007
Caught this film in USP today. It was my first time there at the film session. In any case, The Saddest Song in the World is a very nice film. It is a comedy about sadness, which is an irony by itself. I found it to be nice in the sense that what were supposedly sad in the film were also not that sad, without feelings at all or even happy. No doubt there is a simple point being made by the director that one man's sadness cannot be understood or experience by another (as the chairman of the session put it), I find that the plot is what holds the film and the style of filming is to complement the plot. The sharp contrast between the music played by the leads and the music played by fellows from other countries was an example of how one man's sadness can only be felt because of his experience (this sentence is weirdly expressed). This was further enhanced when the same song was sang by another in a merrily tone and a simple item of glass legs could be a symbol of happiness at one point in the film and sadness in another.
The Origin. 9/07/2007 11:01:00 pm
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
I found this song from Bon Jovi's Bounce really beautiful the first time I heard it and I still do. I find it to be a song that encompasses so much. Like love, friendship, responsibility, justice.... Just some sharing... Wanted to have the live video from youtube but it was kind of sucky...
Lyrics
A friend of a friend needs a favor No questions asked, theres not much more to say
Me and the wife, we need the money Weve got four kids all hungry, one on the way Slip these sweat socks in your shirt and pray they think your packin Be sure to keep your head down, dont look em in the eye And dont get fancy, ricky, we aint jimmy cagney Look at me, lets do the job and lets get home tonight
[chorus:] I got a half tank of gas and if we run all the lights Well slip across the border on the wrong side of right And just like butch and sundance well ride until the dawn Sipping whiskey, singing cowboy songs On the right side of wrong
We picked a helluva of a night, from the shore I see the skyline In a couple of hours from now rick, were gonna get out of this life Well stop for smokes, I brought a six pack, well stop at lookers on the way back Hell, well laugh this off, keep your fingers crossed that all goes well tonight
[chorus:] I got a half tank of gas and if we run all the lights Well slip across the border on the wrong side of right And just like butch and sundance well ride until the dawn Sipping whiskey, singing cowboy songs On the right side of wrong
Well make the grade, theyll know our names, I need a friend to drive here Wear my necklace of st. christopher and talk to him while I go inside Ill take that suitcase, get the cash and well be gone before you know Wait until we tell the girls were moving down to the gulf of mexico...
[guitar solo]
A friend of a friend needed a favor Life was just what happened while we were busy making plans We never saw nothing, there was a run-in .9 millimeter steel was coming for the windshield of that oldsmobile As the cop said, show your hands!
[chorus:] I got a half tank of gas and if we run all the lights Well slip across the border on the wrong side of right And just like butch and sundance well ride until the dawn Sipping whiskey, singing cowboy songs On the right side of wrong
The Origin. 9/05/2007 09:57:00 pm
Sunday, September 02, 2007
"In a mist of all the noises and happy-chaos happening around, I felt a need t0 stop and appreciate the scene, the sight, the atmosphere, the beauty and of course, the noise. Maybe it was after a chaotic (truly) day - my mom scolded me first thing in the morning, had to go over to Hollandse Club for preparation of D&D in 1/2 a bad mood, having an evening with a number of screw-ups here and there, and not having opportunities to speak to ...
I digressed. The point is that I tried to 'create' a small little area of tranquility in the function room. Just find somebody with the same boring mind as I have to simply stand and adsorb everything that was going on. It is something like sipping a cup of coffee on the sidewalks, just to watch the day past and the people go."
This was the entry that I tried to write after D&D last night. I got home at 2 and wanted to write it all out but tiredness gave in. And I spent the whole of today catching up with my studies. I'm almost on track. I could try to continue now but I'm in too foul a mood to write something like that.
My mom is in a scolding-kenneth mood over this weekend. The thing is I know why she is scolding me and I have tried to calm her down by reassuring her. The damn reason is that I have been out and around a lot and I obviously have not been studying. I know myself and I have already taken into account 3 weeks of behind the tracks when I took on D&D. I know I have to catch up the moment D&D is over and I am doing it. It is very irritating that she doesn't trust me and that she keeps going on and on despite my assurance. Bloody hell. To top it off, this is not what she usually does when she sense that I am slacking. She used to simply talk to me but she is scolding me now. That's what irritating. It is not about the scolding, nor about her being anal about what I do but where the problem lies, she doesn't trust me to decide and study. Not only that she can't trust me to enough to sit down and talk sense to me.
Have I not done enough to gain that bit of trust?
The Origin. 9/02/2007 02:26:00 am
i AM myself
Name: Kenneth aka Ah_Ken
DOB: 14 Jul 85
Current Status: Mugging my life away in NUS. Life is a BIG deception!
Residence: Bt Panjang
Likes: Chocolate, Soft Shell Crab (Cuz I'm LAZY), Shopping, Slacking, Reading Manga..
Dislikes: None I can think of at the moment..
Short Term Dream: Get my ass to France for SEP at least.
Long Term Dream: A nice condominium at Marina Bay or in Orchard cuz... very atas la!!
Description: Just ur average guy...
your voice
quotes
"You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true." - Dr. Meredith Grey from Grey's Anatomy
'How happy is the little Stone
That rambles in the Road alone,
And doesn't care about Careers
And Exigencies never fears-
Whose Coat of elemental Brown
A passing Universe put on,
And independent as the Sun
Associates or glows alone,
Fulfilling absolute Decree
In casual simplicity-' - How happy is the little Stone by Emily Dickinson
'This is your last chance.
After this, there is no turning back.
You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe.
You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.' - Morpheus, The Matrix
'The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
Not because you'll get it, but because you're doomed not to want it if you do.' - Unknown
'There are plenty of people with good intentions who take the wrong actions in the end' - Gundam Seed Destiny
'Life is no straight and easy corridor along
which we must seek our way,
lost and confused, now and again
checked in a blind alley.
But always, if we have faith,
a door will open for us,
not perhaps one that we ourselves
would ever have thought of,
but one that will ultimately
prove good for us.' - A.J.Cronin
"Every life has one true-love snapshot
Strangers are just family you have yet to come to know
No life is a waste.
The only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone"
"A man can endure alot if he still has hope." - Clyde T. Ellis
" 'Appreciate It.' 2 simple words. A life span of gratitude." - Cinderella Man
"A boxer enters the ring alone. If knocked down, he alone could pick himself up and keep the fight going." - Cinderella Man
"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot do." - Eleanor Roosevelt
"Jame J. Braddock: I know this isn't what you wanted. But I can't win if you're not behind me.
Mae: I'm always behind you."
"People die in fairy tales all the time." - Max Baer, Cinderella Man
"Maybe sometimes people need to see someone do it so they can do it." - Father Rorick, Cinderella Man
"You always got ot figure you're not the best man in the world, there might be somebody better. That's the way it was. That's the way boxing is. The champion don't always stand up. There's always somebody coming up to take him. That's a part of life." - Jame J. Braddock
"If either man falls through weakness or otherwise, he must get up unassisted" - The Queensbury Rules, No. 4
"All men have fears, but the brave put down their fears and go forward, sometimes to death, but always to victory" - Motto of the King's Guard in Ancient Greece
"With each passing day in a good marriage, the love for your spouse grow stronger than the day before" - Cinderella Man
"I take responsibility" - President George W. Bush
"Sow a Thought, and you reap an Act; Sow an Act, and you reap a Habit; Sow a Habit, and you sow a Character; Sow a Character, and you reap a Destiny." - Samuel Smiles
"Our doubts are traitors, And make us lose the good we oft might win By fearing to attempt - Shakespeare in Measure of Measure
"What does your heart tell you?" - Aragorn, LOTR
"To an outstretched hand we shall respond with an olive branch, but we shall fight fire with the harshest fire ever." - Israeli PM Ariel Sharon
"To deny our own impulses is to deny the very thing that makes us human. " - The Matrix
"Be without fear in the face of your enemies. Be brave and upright that God may love thee. Speak the truth, always, even if it leads to your death. Safeguard the helpless and do no wrong. That is your oath." - Balian of Ibelin, Kingdom of Heaven
"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view... Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it." - Atticus Finch, To Kill A Mockingbird
"It is not our abilities that show what we truly are... it is our choices." - Dumbledore, Harry Potter
"Do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. Even the very wise cannot see all ends." - Gandalf, LOTR
"Ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind. Or forgotten." - Lilo & Stitch
"Your heart is free. Have the courage to follow it." - Malcolm Wallace, Braveheart
"Every man dies, not every man really lives." - William Wallace, Braveheart