Saturday, June 07, 2008
An unfortunate event happened recently. An uncle of mine just past away. I ain't close to him. To begin with, I ain't close to most of my relatives either. In any case, I was at the wake for two nights and these two nights made me feel somewhat 'normal'. The thing that made me feel so was that there was no tears. There wasn't much conversation of how he was before he left or stuff, much less tear-drops from the sons, daughters or nieces and nephews. Conversations mainly involved what are their future plans.... I guess I have always thought myself to be too emotion-less for thinking that when something bad does happen to my parents, I would probably not be exaggeratedly upset like in those movies or tv serials. Well.. Maybe if such a thing happens to somebody close to me and is near my age grp, I will be more upset because of the suddenness and the loss. Well.. Something about already being mentally prepared for their being gone whereas not the case for people closer to my age group.
Then here's going to be what makes me weird. I sort of like the atmosphere at a wake. Maybe it is the light bulbs in chinese funerals held in the void decks. Or maybe it is just the morbid feeling and silence in general. I have a strange attraction towards graveyards too. Of course not in the middle of the night la~ I remember reading once in an article that the writer loves to visit other countries and hopefully catch their funeral proceedings. His/her reason for doing so was to appreciate their culture by experiencing how they appreciate their deads. I confess that I do not have such a cultured view towards it. It is just a general feeling of silence and what I would call 'lack or presence'. Lack being that a person is lost of course. And presence is the tricky one. It is the presence of sadness, death, lack of reason to live, and so many things associated with death. Things, emotions that we cannot find in many places. Other places are often filled with happenings. These happenings are often there to drive away the sadness, death, lack of reason to live etc. I mean take orchard rd, some people shop there to escape their sadness. They meet their friends there to escape loneliness.
The Origin. 6/07/2008 07:27:00 am