Ideal Family Size
Today's Straits Times was talking abt govt subsidies to low-income families and the article featured a family of 5. Dad - 29 yrs old, Mom - 22 yrs old, 3 children - 4 yrs old, 3 yrs old & 9 mths old. Only the father is working as a contract painter with an income of approximately $1500. Well.. I suppose they can survive with tt income, barely.. But there will not be enough to provide the children with education up to Uni or poly.
The 1st thot tt came across was, "Why in the world do they want so many kids in the 1st place?". Especially when they know tt they are not financially well-to-do. I suppose there are many possible reasons but I shall not speculate.
Next, Newpaper was talking abt 2 gals (elder is 12 yrs old) who ran away from home. I didn't really catch the reason but I think it has sth to do with getting grounded. Just a few months ago, there was an article on 2 boys who ran away from home too.. Sux.. Kids nowadays, they juz give u more n more things to worry abt..
Anyway, call me selfish but my ideal family size is juz 2. I just hope to get a small and nice condo somewhere in town, and live either alone (if i dun find someone) or with my wife (if i find someone or vice versa). Having kids is a big No No. The responsibility needed to raise a kid is simply too great. But we'll see abt it when the time comes cuz my Chief Clerk was telling me tt an officer said the very same thing be4 but he ended up having 3 kids.
Just for my own record: He is a good father, my father. Remember it.
The Origin. 8/31/2005 08:19:00 pm
I am so sick of myself. I ask for so much yet I fail to give them back. I am a self-centered, selfish asshole. My family show me love yet I return them with negligence. I fail to make the effort to interact more. I take things for granted.
How did I ever allowed myself to fall so low? I am just becoming the very person I dun want to be like.
I shall put a stop to this.
The Origin. 8/28/2005 08:18:00 pm
They say that Wisdom Grows With Time/Age. I seriously doubt that. There are still so many stupid assholes who are already in their 40s/50s, who despite having a complete family, go out and woo some 20s/30s ladies. Somehow, they think that they are still young and dashing, and the young ladies love them for their looks and character. Bullshit. Obviously, the young ladies are going for their money and job stability etc. Some of these assholes are a just little bit cleverer (Still stupid nonetheless) than the other as they can "cover their tracks" and 2 time btw their family and the ladies. The rest of the crowd (who are seriously stupid to the core) think tt they found true love after so many years and decided to abandon their families to live the "happily everafter" with the other ladies (using their retirement money). They forget abt the families they started and the wives they went thru thick and thin with. Fucking stupid and fucking lack of committment, I think.
And as if their stupidity and lack of committment aren't their worst characteristics, a large grp of these stupider assholes lack the dignity to stick to their choices when things turn sour btw the ladies and themselves. When the ladies abandon them for younger men or cheat them of their retirement money, they chose to return to the very families they abandoned earlier and beg for forgiveness.
Now back to the cleverer bunch of the fools. They continue on their lives, juggling between the 3rd parties and their families. In some case, deceiving both parties while in others, the 3rd parties are in the deception together. Either way, the fools are still lying to their families. A total lack of integrity. Wait. Not lack, they dun even have it. And ultimately, no matter which senario they are in, a lie cannot go on forever. The family will find out and poof. There goes the "perfect" world. For the families and the men.
Singapore Men!! Just being called that name make me sick cuz of those stupid old men! I just despise them for their everything. Bloody lack of wisdom, committment, dignity, values and so many more.
I will not grow old to be like them, both the slightly cleverer ones and the stupider ones. This is a promise to myself.
The Origin. 8/27/2005 11:47:00 pm
Finally! I went there!
I went to Mandai Hill Camp to take down minutes of a meeting conducted by my boss.. OMG.. From 0800 to 1345... sia lah.. gonna have a hard time doing it. Anyway, there was a retreat after the meeting at HSBC Tree Top Walk. On the surface, my boss "asked" me to join them. In truth, it was more like an order.
Anyway, today muz be my most mature wear other than No. 3. I wore a white polo tee, tucked in... I feel like a 40 yr old man already...
I'm disgressing... We took a shuttle bus from the camp to Venus drive (Somewhere near serangoon) and walked all the way to the bridge and back. It took us 2 hrs plus to complete the walk. The brigde is sooo cool. Standing on the bridge was like almost-suspending in mid-air. The scenery is excellent. The nature, the woods, are so nice.. Ha.. I didn't expect myself to say tt abt some stupid trees but it's true.. It's just so nice.
A thot from walking with a grp of 40 - 50 yr-olds. They are juz like a bunch of boys getting together. crapping and stuffs. Too bad, there's a rank difference..... Anyway, my boss introduced me to the CB Plant. CB for CXXXBXXX (dunno how many alphabets). this is because of the uniqueness of the leaf before it opens up all the way...... The 2 sides of the leaf basically form a CB look-alike. According to one of the ppl, Bt Panjang Park has a lot of this plant but I don't step into the park lah...
Another funny thing was tt while we were walking away from the bridge, a grp of sec sch gals were coming in our dir to the bridge but the thing is tt the bridge is one-way. So we kindly told them to turn ard and they started making a lot of commotion abt it. And even more commotion when they found out tt they were low on water. My boss was kind enough to give them his bottle of unopened mineral water... later, there was even more commotion when they found out tt they would not be able to make it for the walk as the bridge closes at 1700.... Funny n noisy grp of gals......
Anyway, met Weili there cuz he was training there for the AHM...
The Origin. 8/26/2005 10:05:00 pm
Read Urban Life from Starts Times today. Basically, the article is abt S'pore gals wearing the same style over and over again i.e. "skimpy, sleeveless top teamed with tight jeans worn low-slung". They thus look like "clones".
Well.. Personally, I find the article very biased. Kinda like sth from the past even before guys stepped into the modelling world. (I remember it has sth to do with some photographers taking photos of "Hunks". Thus introducing the perfect male figure) 1st of all, the article made the stand tt guys do not have to "dress up" while gals have to. I think it is an old-fashioned thinking. 2ndly, the writer seems to be making the connection tt dressing up brings out YOU and YOUR personality, which I think is a stupid connection.
Anyway, I disagree with the article to a large extent. I think it is ok for females to dress in their "comfortable" ways as they like, when they are going out shopping n stuffs. However, during functions (as opposed to the terminology by the writer) like balls, D &D etc., they should dress themselves up for the event. They can take forever but it beats turning up in an event looking like they went on a shopping spree.
Ha... Mom & Sis are finally back from their London-Paris trip! They went for 2 weeks plus. Haha.. Missed them!
They bought many things for me too! A wallet, a sling pouch, many wristbands (not found locally) and a collared tee shirt. ha.. the shirt is nice but the colour is kinda gay.. pale yellow. haha.. But they insist tt it is for guys...
The Origin. 8/25/2005 09:26:00 pm
Borrowed the comic, "Yao Yuan De Gu Xiang" (The Distant Hometown) from the library. It comes in 2 books (shang and xia). Well.. The story is abt this 48 yr-old Japanese guy, let's call him X, (married with 2 daughters) who by a twist of fate, took the wrong train and returned to his hometown after a day of work. Since X was there, he took time off to visit his mom's grave and at that moment he loses conciousness. he woke up to find himself back when he was only 14. He gets to relive his past... So the story was basically a boring tale abt how he could easily aced his papers and got the love of his "xiao hua" cuz he's clever and more mature than the other guys. Wat is captivating is the mystery abt his father's disappearance when he was 14...
It turned out tt the father left the family (1 wife, X and 1 daughter) on his own accord. He was supposedly consider to be very blessed with the family. He still chose to leave not because of another woman or anything but because it has always been his dream to leave tt town to see the outside world. But fate had it tt he had to remain in tt town cuz of his wife and many other circumstances. He was tied down by commitment and it was a deep regret in his heart. he chose to abandon the "happy" life he has cuz he dun wanna live to an old age and die with regret.
Well.. On one view, I find him rather irresponsible. On another, I feel tt he is respectable cuz he left his happy life for the unknown challenge and also he didn't turn back, not even when he is old and alone. (X later returned to his present world and caught a glimpse of his dad on a train)
Going to sleep now.. Cuz I had another sleepless night ytd.. Broken sleep all the way from 0200 to 0630....
The Origin. 8/24/2005 07:22:00 pm
Ok.. Choo, I have decrease the spacing to 0 px... I declare myself a failure in HTML. After all the feedback I gotten after altering the original html, well.. i suck.. haha..
But I shall look for another layout and put it up soon, and NO MORE ALTERATIONS...
Has a seemingly endless dream last night. I awoke from the dream at 0300 + and went back to bed.. The moment I fall asleep, I continued the dream from where I left off.. Only to be awaken again as it got exiting. the dream itself is totally senseless and stupid.. kinda like a Block-Buster storyline.. lol... It's abt aliens (as in Aliens from aliens vs predator) falling onto S'pore and infesting the whole area.. The protagonist (dunno who) escaped with his gf and tried to persuade the other nations to nuke S'pore but they didn't cuz there were still some "survivors"(who are used as carrier for the aliens but they didn't know). So they isolated the aliens in S'pore (which became kinda like the alien habitat u see in the movies). But after some time, the aliens evolved (they evole and learn at high speed) and could break out of isolation and started infesting the whole world.. At this pt, the protagonist and his gf went to one of the poles to live together as it'll be the last place the aliens would go... blah blah blah... the last scene was tt the aliens infested up to the poles and were beginning to surround the protagonist's hse.. then the 2 of them each held a gun and shot at each other....... crazy huh???
Something must have stimulated my imagination to dream of all this crap.... I lost so much precious slp cuz of tt stupid dream!!!!! argh!!!!! but the amazing part is the dream ended at the last scene juz some time be4 I awoke... But it's stupid..
On a more serious note, I overheard a COL talking to his staff and fren abt how he treats his work.. He said sth like, "I don't want to be the best COL in the Army. It is meaningless to center ur life ard ur work. There are other more important things in life. For example, myself, I want my kids to think tt I'm the best father in the world, not just a good COL in the army."
The problem with S'poreans, our work is usually a big part of our life. We tend to fall into the trap of paying too much attention to our careers to the extent tt it defines us. But then again, if less attention is paid to it, we may jolly-well lose it. Afterall, not all of us have a COL pay + a COL job to begin with..... How can we afford to pay less attention to work then???
The Origin. 8/23/2005 07:52:00 pm
Heard abt this only today when I went to the gym with Kay Eng.. He wants to join one. Well.. It sounds cool.. All the speaking & stuffs.. Definitely a great way to learn to speak well in public. This is a link to ToastMaster International
I shall find out more abt it tmr.. Lol.. Feeling really shag out now.. Muz have overdid my legs during gym earlier... Shall go to sleep now...
The Origin. 8/22/2005 08:39:00 pm
Got this invitation today cuz I was surfing ard for volunteer stuffs and found a site on Student Volunteer Corp. To be honest, the site sux. There was nth abt what they do n stuffs. Even the forum is pathetic per se. Anyway, I sent an email to ask abt wat they do n stuffs and this is wat I got. Hmm.. Probably will drop by to see see look look. Somehow, I have this feeling tt the ppl there are gonna be much younger??? lol.. Watever.. Juz keeping my options open and looking ard... Anybody interested???
Invitation to Induction Session
Met up with Jian Wei & my Upper-study, Junwen, this afternoon. It is some kinda a get-together be4 Jian Wei leaves for the States. He's gg over in Sept for his studies. It's a pity tt he doesn't like blondes.. lol.. Anyway, it is nice meeting up with them outside MINDEF. JunWen gave me the 1st positive feedback abt Uni since my JC frens entered Uni. Hope tt it is good.
The Origin. 8/21/2005 08:23:00 pm
Well.. Made some changes.. Shifted my quotes section to "profiles" cuz I plan to update it everytime I see sth nice and it'll get kinda messy if the list gets longer.. Nobody likes to see a messy main page, rite?
Wanted to change the name of the section to "profile & quotes" but it was too long and it crosses over to the next word... I have not figured out how to extend it yet. I suppose the quotes I like is also a reflection of who I am.. So it shld be ok to leave it as profiles for now until I figured out how to change the settings.. Come to think abt it, I quite amazed with myself for being able to make these changes to the original layout.. haha..
On the main page, I included the 7 habbits of highly effective teenagers. Thank you, Weili! for lending me the book.
Currently, i'm only at habbit number 6 in the book. I stopped cuz I felt very disappointed with myself for the guy I was in the past, especially for the last 1 yr since I enlisted and got into gaming. I have neglected many things, I feel. Hope tt it isn't too late to make amendments. I shall strive to be a better man! (can't believe tt I'm typing such a cheesy statement.. lolz)
Anyway, I am truely glad tt I have uninstalled the games from my computer. now the only entertainment in my pc are the media player and the desktop games...
The Origin. 8/20/2005 10:52:00 pm
Bought the new issue of Maxim, featuring in Lin Chiling, ytd. Come to think of it, I only bought 3 issues of such magazine til date. lol.. The 1st one, FHM, was bought when I was in BMT, tt issue was featuring the top 100 females or sth. It was a total let-down cuz the top 100 sux, and it got lost-in-platoon.
The 2nd was Felicia Chin on FHM. It's still somewhere in my cupboard. I threw it there after browsing through it once.
In truth, I kinda regretted buying them. I'm not a magazine-kinda person, so to speak. And seeing scandily dressed ladies on every other page is kinda lame. Watz more? There are also dialogue bubbles, like "I like men with..." at every pic.. I seriously wonder why ppl can buy a whole collection of such mags...
Well.. I'm not saying tt I'm not interested in such things (I AM!) but it's juz kinda stupid to flip through them, dun u think?
Anyway, next time, if u hear saying tt I have bought another issue or plan to buy another issue of such mag, PLEASE SLAP ME! WAKE ME UP!I'm probably speaking or acting on impulse cuz the cover girl is very chio.
Flipping through the mag, I also remembered a little debate my clz had during our GP lesson during our 1st 3 months. It was abt the world becoming a woman's world. One of the gals was arguing sth like, "Ladies are being idolised by guys. Guys have pic of their idol with them on their tables and stuff.." (sth like tt).
Personally, I feel tt this is nothing to be proud of. I feel tt it sucks to be an object of sexual fantasy in one's mind. It doesn't mean more power, it only means less.
Come to think abt it, I have always wondered why celebrities would want to appear on those magazines. I mean it isn't exactly honourable but they still do it. If it's monetary, as stars, they already have enough, right? Maybe it's in the contract?? YOU MUST DO AT LEAST ONE PHOTO-SHOOT TO BE A STAR.
Just talked to Ai Tian over MSN. She did an analysis on my blog entries and diagnosed tt sth big must be bothering me. This is because my entries vary from very long to very short ones - indicating extreme mood swings (sth along tt line.. wanted to copy the conversation but closed it by mistake).
I conclude tt the only sth big bothering me is tt I'm in NS and for this period of my life, there is no purpose whatsoever. I am drifting, there is completely no direction. I have played for abt a yr and I'm seriously getting very sick of it. Games, they dun interest me like they used to anymore. They are only a form of past-time cuz I have nth else to do.
I need purpose and I need short-term goals. They will come when I go to uni but for now, I have thought of some options, like getting into volunteery work, learning sth or getting attached!! lolz.. Getting attached is out of the qn for now, so I'm left with the 1st 2...
The Origin. 8/20/2005 02:27:00 pm
Read tt it is always better to pen it down rather than simply think abt it... So this is my current agenda:
1. To be a volunteer for the next 11 mths until Uni starts
2. Learn sth.. Lol.. dunno wat yet..
I have idled for the last 1 yr plus. I'm not going to remain so...
Anyway, here's some sharing on the story I was talking about the other day...
Part 1 - 5.
Long long ago, there was this girl who was in a jc in the east. She was a very charming girl, nice, sweet,pretty, and petite. She had beautiful eyes, and long flowing black hair. She had a very charming smile
and a face which radiates youth. Although she is not a sexy girl, she has a sweet , innocent look. Then there was this guy, who was from another faculty. This guy had a small built, had boyish looks, and looked a little like an ah beng. This guy was in the same jc as this girl, and had a girlfriend in another jc, who was from his secondary school, but when he saw this girl, he was attracted to her. He was captivated by her, but he didn't do
anything, as he knew he was attached. But there was something that was very weird, this girl resembles his current girlfriend a lot, and he cannot help it but steal glances at this girl whenever there is a chance to. Let this girl be T while the guy be K.
And so a year passed, the guy, although he was attracted to the girl, didn't try anything funny to know her or things like that. But as time passes, the relationship btw him and his current gf started to have problems. They were holding on together while many others have failed. K knew that it was not a good
idea to break up with her as that was a crucial point of their lives, the A levels.. but it doesn't mean that he has no more love for her, it was just that their relationship lacked spice and started to become routine.
One fine day, K went out to celebrate his friend's birthday and he saw T again at a food court. When he saw her, that funny sensation came back to him again. That weird feeling he had came back to him again. This time, he knows he cannot resist her anymore. But still he didn't try to get to know her, he
fought down that urge again. So after going home, K went online.
This world has something called fate, and it happened btw K and T. T was online too that night. K doesn't have a habit of talkin to strangers online, but that night, he just felt that he needed to talk to someone. So he went to an irc channel that was their school channel and waited. Fate gave them a
chance, and made T come to irc. K had known the nick T used in irc, but didn't try hard enough to talk to her, until that day , he just plucked up his courage to talk to her... So he double clicked on her nick, and started to say..
" Hi , I saw you today at the food court "
She replied " Oh were u the one who was wearing the purple shirt with the blue jeans?"
K was amazed that she remembered him. So they chatted happily on irc. At this time in T's head, she was actually attracted to K . She thinks that K was a very handsome guy. ( From what she told K later on ) So when she saw her that day , it left a very deep impression. And so they talked and talked, and K was happy yet guilty that he had talked to another girl. T knows that K had a gf, so she only chatted with K. So one day passed, and both of them felt happy to have met each other online.
From that day onwards, K knew that he had not been a good guy, he was very sad that he had did something like that. Although when now he thinks back it was perfectly alright, in that period of time he feels that he is a flirt. So whenever he saw T in school, he didn't say hi or anything. He just walked
passed her many times without saying anything. Inside the head of T, she was thinking why K treated her that way. She thought that he was the guy who she had talked to in irc the other day. So she thought that she had talked to a wrong person, but in fact she didn't. So she was very puzzled in her
head, and needed to talk to K again..
But T and K didn't make an effort to wait for each other in irc as they had not fallen in love at that point of time.. But once again, fate was in action. When K came online one day, T was online again. So K started to talk to T many times online.... Then one of the times when K was feeling down bcos of a quarrel with his gf, he begin to tell T everything... he began to tell her about the problems with his gf.. How his gf neglected him bcos of studying.. and many other things... but at this point of time.. K didn't feel that he had fallen in love with T. He knows he is attracted to T, but he won't just give away his other relationship.
T on the other hand, hasn't like K as well, she just feels that he is a nice person. So when K tell her
about his problems with his gf, T was very receptive. She gave him ideas, and offered some solutions.
Never did she say things to worsen their relationship. So T and K became friends who only chatted on
Irc. So it became like this, and a few months breezed by. The first time they chatted was during
november 1999, and they talked many times till there was one fateful time during march 2000 when
they chatted again..
K began to chat with T online, as usual. I remember that it was a Tuesday, that fateful day. K and T
chatted just normal talk, and there was an econs project coming along, which was due on Thursday. K
and T begin to talk... and K said something that would change their lives forever... K said..
K said "Hey, Although we have often talked online, I didn't feel that I needed to get your number or
anything. I didn't feel like talking to u in person, I myself don't know why" something like that.. T
replied " yes, because u are "dao", always pretend that u never see me. I often wanted to say hi but u
were always walking around in a hurry" So K, at this point of time, know that he had not been "normal"
to T. He realised that he was afraid of being normal to T. Why was that so? It is very simple. T bears
an uncanny resemblance to K's gf. Both were sweet petite girls. K was afraid of taking T as a
substitute.. ( they were in the same school, but K's gf at that time was in another Jc ). And so K asked
himself, why are u acting so strangely towards T? he didn't know. But he said that golden line " do u
want to meet me face to face? " K couldn't believe that he typed that sentence. He keep telling
himself.. If T rejects him this once, he would never think about asking her out again and leave things
as they are. He really didn't know what to do at that point of time.
And T replied.....
" u Are always so dao towards me, are u sure u wanna meet me? I don't mind meeting u face to face.."
K replied " no, I am not someone who is dao... Since u so onz, how about tomorrow? K was just banging
on his chances. He was just asking for the sake of asking her, and by asking for tomorrow, K thought
that she would have already made programmes...
And so T replied " tomorrow I would be having dance rehearsals...."
And so K thought " well, this is all fated, I would not ask her out anymore...."
BUT ... after saying that... T said... "I can meet u after that..."
T was a very protected girl. She can never go out after 8 pm. The latest that she can go is only during
special occasions like prom night or chalets with teachers in it. So by asking K to go out after her
rehearsals, it meant that T would have to meet K at around 8 pm. BTW T lives in the west, so she was
making a move that might get herself into trouble. But when she asked K to meet her after her
rehearsals, K didn't think that T parents were so strict. K didn't know that she had never gone out
with guys till such a "late" time. ( the late time was actually very early, after 8 pm ) And so K replied.....
" can I have your number so that I can contact u to facilitate our meeting?"
And T replied " sure, can I have your number too?" And that was how K and T exchanged numbers. For
such a long time after knowing T, K has never asked for her number before, neither did T asked for
K's number. But that night, both of them exchanged their numbers after about five months. That
changed everything forever.
The next day came, and K was in a dilemna. He told himself, if T was ever going to be late, he would
just leave, and leave her a voicemail that he was leaving. And so they fixed the meeting time at 7 pm in
the evening. K knows that dance rehearsals usually end at around that time, and T would take
sometime to meet him at a certain MRT Station control. So 7 pm came, and K's heart raced faster. K
keep telling himself to wait for T for only 15 mins. The moment K reached, he sent a page to T, telling
her that he reached. Time was 7 pm exactly. At that time handphones were not common, only pagers. K
hoped that T would be late and so that he wouldn't wait for her, as he feel very very uneasy to meet T,
it was like meeting another variation of his gf. SO came 7.15, K msged T again to say that he was
leaving, bye. Just like that... just as K was about to leave the mrt, he received a page that said please
wait for me, I am coming now. So K was really in a dilemna. He didn't know whether to wait or to leave.
But to leave just like that was very very rude as T was already rushing to meet him. So finally he
waited... as 7.20 approached, K thought of his gf, he thought that by meeting T, he was actually being
a very unfaithful guy. And he picked himself up to leave. And so K left the mrt station, and walked
towards the bus interchange.. when he reached the bus interchange, who else but Fate rounded them
up again. K met T at the interchange. At this point of time, K knows that he had no more chance to
avoid T, T was staring straight at K's face, asking him why did he start to leave when she asked him to
wait.. K had no reply, K simply said." I was just about to leave, didn't expect to c u here." And so K and
T went for dinner at the same food court that T had saw K for the first time.. The table where they
had sat at is still now visible in K's memory, but he din know whether T still remembers.
So T and K went to have dinner, and they began to sit down. T started talking to K by apologizing.. she
said she was so afraid that K might just go off, as she really wanted to meet him. K said it was ok for
being late, he was often late for appts too. K and T started to talk as if they were old friends.
Although it was only the first time they met, they seemed to have known each other and chatted like
old buddies. Throughout the whole dinner, K and T didn't even had a moment of silence or
awkwardness. K and T were so much at ease with one another during the first meeting that they
couldn't believe it. T ate her favourite Beef noodles while K ate hot plate noodles, a memory that K can
never forget. K can never forget how T liked to scoop each scoop of noodles, add abit of beef, and a
little chilli on top before eating every spoonful of noodles. K can still remember how T liked to finish
all her food although she was full, as she didn't like to waste food. So after eating, K and T was about
to go home... when K asked T where she live. And T said, I live in XXXXXX. K thought , man, I am not
sending her home, its too far, I still got an econs project to hand up on Thursday, and today is already
Wednesday. T and K went to take the mrt, but as T and K were going opposite directions , K asked " do
u want me to send u home?" and so T replied.." I would love to, but its too far for u. The time was
about 9 pm, and if K sent T home, he would reach home at about 11++ pm, which would leave him with
very little time to do the project. But K, being courteous, said, Its ok, I have nothing to do anyway. (
which was a lie , he had his econs project to do ) But K didn't know that T also took econs and had to
hand up her econs project the next day too. So T in her head, she knew that K had to hand up a
project, but she didn't say it out. She simply said " its ok, I can go home myself, please don't trouble
yourself to send me home" and so K said " ok, then I shall leave, goood bye~~" and each of them went
home themselves. K didn't know that T had never gone out so late before, and he didn't know that T
really wanted him to send her home, but anyway, he needed to get home to do the project...
The moment K reached home, he began to bang on his project. He had to add some finishing touches to
it. But while he is at it, he kept thinking whether T had reached home. ( from the food court to T's
home was about 1.5 hrs journey ) So K msged T to come online the moment she reached home, as K was
using the computer which made him unable to use his phone ( single house phone line and using dialup)
As K waited online while doing his project, he saw T come online...
And so he talked to T, he asked her what was she doing online.. then she said.. doing the econs
project... and T asked K what was he doing.. and K said.. im doing the project too.. T thought about the
moment when K said that he got nothing to do.. She knew it was all a lie.. and so she asked K, "why did u
say u have got nothing to do? Hehe" K , didn't know what to reply, and so he said.. " well, it was called "
ke qi hua" , which means courteous words, and he also confessed that he didn't really meant to really
send her home if he had a choice. But T said she understand, as the econs project was quite impt to
economics students. K and T then began to do their project online, while chatting to one another...
both of them worked really hard.. and worked till both were really tired... But things were very
coincidental. The moment K finished his project, T finished hers as well. He typed " YEAH, I have
finished my project!!!" and T replied " hey, me too~~!" and both of them were happy and wanted to go
to sleep. Then K suddenly realised that he has no diskette to bring the project to school. He then
asked T, " can I send u my file now, u help me save in a diskette, and pass it to me tomorrow?" T
replied, sure, but I do not know how to receive a file from u and put it into a diskette.. At this point of
time, K laughed in his heart. He didn't know that girls can be so silly, didn't even know how to search
for a file and put into a diskette.. and so K laughed at T and said "hahaha.. u are so lousy~" jokingly. K
tried to tell her online how to do it, but T, being a typical normal computer weak girl, didn't understand
one bit. K was getting irritated as he was really tired and wanted to get to sleep, but he got to teach
her how to save the file inside a diskette, and talking to her online wasn't going to help things. So K
said" give me ur house number, let me call u and teach u how to do it" and so K got her house number,
and called her... that was the first time that they have talked on the phone.. K began to tell her how
to do everything, how to save the file and search for it, how to put it in a diskette. After doing all this
for K, T and K finally went to sleep....
So the next day came, and K went all around to look for T. He needed to get the diskette before the
economics lesson. So after searching high and low, he finally found T at her locker. T passed the
diskette to K, and many of T's friends saw it. They were curious how she got to know me, and still pass
diskettes to me. So they asked her, and T told her close friends.. she told them how she knew K. K, on
the other hand, didn't tell anyone that he knew T, all he did was let nature take its course. K was a
confused soul. He find himself drawn to T, but he put up a resistance against T. He knows that if he
became entangled with T, his life was going to be very much affected. So K didn't ask T out anymore.
But T began to enjoy talking to K. T paged K often, and they chatted. T had other guys liking her, but
she didn't talk to anyone of them for long when they called her. ( dun ask me why K knew this ) So T
and K often talked on the phone. K had a gf in another school, but she was often sleeping when K
reached home. K called T when she pages him, but he never made the first moves. He knew by doing so,
he was telling T that he likes her. So since the day they met, K and T became very close.
One day, T asked K whether he wanted to go to support her during a dance competition. She said that
if he could go, she would be very glad. That day was a Sunday, and K had no plans.. K didn't know
whether he should go, as he knows that there was school the next day. K asked 2 of his close friends
whether they would like to go with him, to accompany him there and also to go and take a look at the
dance competition. His friends agreed, and so they went there.. It was at suntec. The moment K saw T
on the stage, he was captivated by her smile. She wasn't a great dancer, but her smile says everything.
It has been a very very long time since K has seen that happy smile again ever since that day.. but
anyway, K was there to support her, and after she came down the stage, T looked all around for K. She
knows K was there to support her, and she looked here and there hoping to find K..
K, on the other hand, was with 2 of his close friends, who were getting bored. They decided to go for their meal themselves, and bade goodbye to K. K stood in the corner while T was searching for him... And finally T found K. T went to K, and said " im really happy that u are here to support me" "K said Well u danced really well.. tired? Wanna go for a drink?" And so T went with K for a drink at KFC...
when K was at KFC, he sensed many pple looking at them, and so he asked T, "are the pple who are looking at us your friends??" T said "no, but I know them" But at that time, both T and K were absorbed with each other, after a while, they began to ignore everyone else. They were oblivious to the surroundings. All K wanted was to have a drink with T, and so he went to q up for their food... He
ordered one large whipped potato and one large drink naturally, he didn't even ask whther T minded sharing with him. Then as he walked back, he realised that he had just assumed that T would share with him. He didn't know why he didn't bother to ask T before buying, but he had already bought it.
So he sat down, and asked " do u min sharing with me? " T replied, " no its perfectly fine" And so T and K happily ate the potato and shared the drink, just like a couple. From that moment on, T started to like K a little. She didn't know why whatever K did, she just accepted it. She didn't mind sharing drinks
with him, she didn't mind eating the same tub of whipped potato. It was very peculiar, as T and K only went out for the 2nd time, and T was already so friendly with him. K didn't feel anything at first, he just ate the potato with T like as if he is sharing with an old friend...
Suddenly, someone from T's dance group came and pulled T away, saying " the results are going to be announced soon, hurry lets go to the stage!" and in a flash , T and her friend had ran out of the restaurant.. K followed behind, with
drink in hand, and all of them reached the place where the results were going to be announced.
K stood in the same corner as he just came, and sipped slowly at the drink. After the results were announced, T didn't win anything, but she wasn't sad at all, all she wanted was to go down stage and talk to K... But at this moment, T's parents appeared , and T had to go home with them... The moment T came down the stage, she went straight to K to tell him that she is really sorry she's got to leave now, and had to leave K alone by himself.. K didn't mind it at all, but he said " hey.. u asked me to come here to support u but now I come here and once u finished u are going home... very bad..."
K meant to make T guilty. K had a very bad habit... he never meant anything hurtful when he says it. He has a good heart but a harsh mouth. But T felt guilty, T was guilty that she asked K to come all the way and then leave
him there alone.. and so T felt very sorry to K, and watched as K took his leave before going back to her parents....
The Origin. 8/19/2005 08:20:00 pm
I read a discussion thread on this topic recently.
What is your stand in this?
1. To leave it to fate and wait for love to come knocking on your door?
Do you really expect reality to be like what you see in the movies? Whereby the "one" for you meets you and the both of you fall in love and live happily after? Or the "one" has always been living beside you but you have not met each other cuz you always turn to the left while he/she always turn to the right and you meet up one fine day juz to fall in love? Wake up already! You can't expect to find love delivered to you in a beautiful "fairy tale" package one fine day. Bullshit.
2. Take matter into your own hands?
To go out and look for "potential candidates"? Where do you look? You can only look at one place at a time. To make it sound stupid, one direction only. What if the one whom you can click with walked pass you right behind your back? there are juz too many "What if"s. It still boils down to fate playing a part in all this.
The Origin. 8/18/2005 08:40:00 pm
Added a new quote on the main page: "To an outstretched hand we shall respond with an olive branch, but we shall fight fire with the toughest fire ever." - Israeli PM Ariel Sharon
Came across this quote while reading the Straits Times today. It was Ariel Sharon's response to his decision to pull back from Gaza Strip. He was commenting on what Israel will do depending on how the Palestinians react to the withdrawal. Kinda like the quote. In case u guys dunno, the olive branch is something offered to an adversary in the hope of obtaining peace. I only just found out abt it.
Anyway, below is a rather nice story abt love which I came across. Just for sharing....
Love, Not Words, Wins Arguments
My husband is a scientist by profession, I love him for his alert nature, and the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders.
Three years in the courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit, I am getting tired of it, the reasons of me loving him before have now transformed into the reasons of all the restlessness. I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive and exquisite when it comes to relationship and feelings. I yearn for romantic moments, as though a little boy yearning for candy. But my husband is just a contrast of me. His lack of sensitivity and inability to bring romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.
One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision that I wanted a divorce. "Why?" he asked, shockingly. "I am tired. There aren't reasons for everything in the world." I answered. He kept silent the whole night. Seemed to be in deep thoughts the whole night with a cigarette lit all the time.
My feelings of disappointment were getting intensed. A man who can't even express his detainment. What else can I hope from him? And finally he asked: "What can I do to change your mind?"
Somebody said it right! It's hard to change a person's personality. And I guess I had started losing faith in him. Looking deeply into his eyes , I slowly answered: "Here is a question. If you can find the answer in my heart, I will change my mind. Let's say, I love a flower at a mountain cliff, and we both know that making you pick it, will cause your death. Will you do it for me?"
He said: "I will give you your answer tomorrow...."
My heart just sank from hearing his reply. The next morning, he was not around, and I saw a piece of paper with his scratching writing, with a glass of warm milk under it. It read....
Dear,
"I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to further explain the reasons." This first lines had already broken my heart. I continued reading. "You only type with computers and always mess up the programs in our PC, then cry in front of screen. I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs.
You always leave the house keys behind. I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you.
You love travelling, but always lose your way in a
You always get cramps whenever your "that time of month" comes. I have to save my palm so that I can calm the cramp in your tummy.
You like to stay indoors. And I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom.
You always stare at the computer, and that does no good to your eyes. I have to save my eyes so that when we grow older, I can help to clip your nails, and help to removed those annoying white hairs.
I will hold your hand while strolling down the beach, enjoying the sunshine and the beautiful sands, and tell you the colour of flowers, just like the glow on your young face.
Thus, dear, before I am sure there is someone else who loves you more than I do, I will not pick the flower and die from it. "
My tears dropped on the letter, and blurred the ink of his hand writing. Then I resumed my reading...
"And now, dear, you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied with these answers, please open the door of our house. I am standing there with your favorite bread and fresh milk.
I rushed to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, with his hand holding tight on the milk and bread.
Oh! I am sure no one ever loves me as much. And now I have decided to leave the flower alone.
That's life, or some say love, when one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement may fade away, and one may tend to ignore the fact that true love lies in between the peace and dullness.
Love shows in any form, even in a very little and corny form. It has never been a model. It can be the most incurious form...flowers. Romantic moments are only the buckish form on the surface of the relationship. Under all these,the pillar of true love stands. And that's our life.
I hope you have enjoyed reading it. Love, not words, win the arguments.
Love can be misused for selfish motives. I love you but at the same time I want to take from you as much as I can, even the things that are not for me to take. Then there is no true love any more. - Blessed Mother Teresa, m
The Origin. 8/16/2005 06:52:00 pm
I think sth is wrong with me today. I practically said every 1st thing tt came across my mind be4 I cld even stop myself. To make things worse, most of them are bad. maybe I didn't get enough slp last night.. Probably...
The Origin. 8/15/2005 09:06:00 pm
All the World's a Stage
(by William Shakespeare)All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first, the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
Then the whining schoolboy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honor, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lined,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slippered pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.
Found this poem while surfing online today. I think I have identified all 7 ages. Pls correct me if I'm wrong. lol.. I can almost hear Bluestar's comment tt I sound like I'm gg to die tomorrow. Anyway, isn't it sad when life's juz tt??
Argh!!!! Can't wait for this stupid mood to pass!!! Shall to go the gym and burn it off tomorrow... Sux...
The Origin. 8/14/2005 09:56:00 pm
I must be too free after dota is gone from my pc. Luckily, Weili is holding on to my installation CD or I would have installed it again.. This is the period for me to beat the addition to gaming.. Lolz.
Anyway, decided to change the skin cuz of many faults the previous skin had, like:
- the previous skin limits the colour of words i can use to only grey
- the space to view the entry is too small
- as the entry space and the blog space are 2 different spaces, the mouse scroll tends not to work for the entry space but for the blog space instead. (I believe there's a term for "space"??)
- Most importantly, too dull.. Haha.. I admit tt I was in sad when I chose tt but looking at tt skin makes me sadder.. lolz.. So I decided for this Hobbes (From Calvin & Hobbes, in case u guys don't read the comic. This is one of my favourites) skin. For the basic reason tt it is neither sad nor happy.
The Origin. 8/14/2005 10:26:00 am
Sigh.. I think I'm in the stupid mood again.. And it ain't exactly helpful tt fate seems to be toying ard with u. U see her when u least expect to and when u practically can't do anything abt it. Kinda sux.. Oh well.. It'll pass.. Eventually....
The Origin. 8/13/2005 10:04:00 pm
Well.. Came across the story while working in MINDEF. It was posted in the MINDEF E-Forum (too bad. U can only access it while in the Army but I'll try to smuggle it out in future). Anyway, I read it when I was 1st posted in in Aug 04. I think it is a very touching story. I won't say tt it's sad cuz there isn't an end to it eg. he moved on or sth...
Anyway, the story was written quite some time ago and some kind soul in the MINDEF forum started a thread on it to share with the ppl. Below is a quote by tt kind soul:
"Long long time ago, this dude -=K=- , WC3 chogosu and famous forumner, wrote about his story, about how his ex and him met up and how they fell apart.. at the point of time he was writing it he had just broke off with her.. so he wrote this to give it to her..
It wasn't written one shot.. he wrote it out bit by bit, and recieved quite a lot of support from the old forumners when they learned of his background story..
It's a heartfelt story, personally I enjoyed it a lot when I first read it 2 years ago.. and reading it again still reminds me that you must cherish what you have, before it's gone forever..
Btw, this isn't a perfect story.. and I didn't say it wasn't biased.. but this is the thing that he wrote, so apart from formatting the thing and some minor correction I've left everything intact."
Anyway, I searched the internet for this story so I need not go through the trouble of smuggling it out and I found a site created by a guy named cyclone. The site is abt the story. However, he only has 1/2 the story posted in the site. This is the website.
If you are interested and you have the time, go & take a look. Meanwhile, I shall try to smuggle it out soon....
The Origin. 8/13/2005 09:35:00 am
Spent some time reading Straits Times today. I was shocked by the article on 2 kids who ran away from home just because their parents did not agree to buy them bicycles. Apparently, they stole $200 (From their parents) and ran away from home. They used the money to buy a bicycle each and spend the rest of the 2 days (I think) in a park (forgot which one). How did they survive during these 2 days? They used the leftover cash from the bicycles to purchase french fries. Eventually, they were found. According to the parents, this isn't the 1st time and the parents tried canning and stuffs but nth worked.
My thots: Kids are really getting more daring and not to mention, out of hand, these days. It reinforces my opinion of not having any children in future. No matter how adorable and fun I may find them.... On the flip side of the incident, I find tt kids are more resourceful today.....
I also got to read 8-days (Courtesy of Ma'am Tan) today and read abt the Jude Law's affair with the nanny, while he was engaged to Sienna Miller. He is so stupid, blind and an absolute nutcase. Have u seen the photo of the nanny??? OMG! Sienna Miller IS infinite times more beautiful than the BIG FAT nanny. Somebody gotta take down a shoe slap Jude Law with it. Bringing sadness to a beautiful woman because of an ugly one. Stupid.
Anyway, I feel tt (Sad to say) guys tends to be unfaithful to their wives as they grow older. All trends and stuffs. Some 40 -50 Singaporean guys even looked for some 20-30 yr old gals, when they are already married with a happy family.
I tell myself that when I'm attached or when I'm married in future, I will NOT be unfaithful to my partner. Commitment, much as I would like to avoid it, is a big part of my values. But seeing all tt is happening, I afraid tt I may jolly well do the exact thing tt I tell myself not to do. Those stupid 40-50 yr old guys may have told themselves not to be unfaithful to their wives when they were 20 yrs old. I'm afraid tt one day, my values will fail me or I will fail my values.
On a lighter note, I juz went to Popular to purchase an optical mouse cuz I was using my comp and I got very pissed with my ex-mouse.
The Origin. 8/11/2005 08:15:00 pm
Woke up at 0700 hrs this morning to read some newpaper, slack and get ready to meet Joel for breakfast at 0900 at City Hall. But I was late despite waking up early cuz I was burning my CD (yes, I'm low-tech) on my comp and I accidentally switched off the main switch for the pc. thus I had to burn everything again.
Anyway, met Joel for breakfast at BK. It was a great way to start a day man. We were going to meet our office's ppl at 1000 at Marina Bay but they called at 0945 saying tt they have already arrived. So we rushed down to meet them. haha.. Joel & I formulated the theory tt when meeting older ladies, u have to arrive 15 mins earlier while meeting younger (abt our age) ones, u'll have to arrive 15 mins later. By the way, I met Louis (BMTC) on the train. Ha.. He's still the same as be4.
We reached the concert stand at 1030 and waited for the arrival of COA. It was so damn hot. I was "sweating" like a pig and thestupid show lasted for 1 hr. Imagine 1 hr in hot sun. Sucks.. Anyway, after the show, we went to waste away our carnival coupons and went home. I reached home at 1400 but only went for a nap at 1530 cuz I had to wash the clothes and hang them out to dry. Sad man.. Only napped for less than 1 hr be4 I went out to meet Xin Ru, Hui Yin & Weili at Orchard.
We had dinner at Yoshinoya (Taka) and later walked to NYDC at Wheelocks Place for Mud-pie , rightfully... However, when we reached NYDC, the gals suddenly decided to go to Cafe Catel in Cineleisure for dessert instead. So we walked all the way back again. Luckily, they didn't change their mind when they reached there.
So we spent the rest of the evening slacking away at the rounded seat in Cafe Cartel, talking mainly abt relationships. It was quite fulfilling and fun actually. I feel that it is in a sense better than our original plan of going to bowl. Cuz I feel we all knew one another better in a sense. E.G. Y I can fall for someone I dunno etc. (Shall not divulge abt the others)
Last thing for the day, I have decided to officially uninstall Warcraft 3 from my PC tmr. Haha.. Not today cuz I'm going straight to bed now. Anyway, the decision came abt after too much time being spent on gaming.
I'm also going to buy a mouse either tomorrow or during the weekend. Cuz mine is "crippled" from excessive gaming. I have difficulties getting the arrow to the point I want. Finally, I'm going to get a mouse without balls..... haha
The Origin. 8/10/2005 11:34:00 pm
Went to view the fireworks at Jurong east with Aitian & Lin Run ytd. Well.. Viewing such low level fireworks is very different from viewing it somewhere near Padang or Kallang. It is like the fireworks were shot up in front of you & just for you, as opposed to those in Padang or Kallang. However, they are definitely shorter & less magnificent in comparison. But oh well.. I still think tt fireworks are best viewed with your love-ones.
Anyway, just some random thots after viewing the fireworks. Sometimes, I don't really understand why I do certain things I do.....
The Origin. 8/10/2005 07:31:00 am
Bet u guys have read the Sunday Times article abt s'pore women not liking men with certain jobs like Karang Guni etc. Talk abt the ex-SIA air-stewardess and her beloved karang guni man...
S'pore guys tend not to look too much into the occupation of their spouse when they look for one, as opposed the s'pore women who looks if the men has got the 5 C's. No wonder men have to resort to Vietnamese ladies..
Materialistic..........
On a lighter note, I just spent 8 hours in the Jurong East Library ytd. OMG! This is the 1st time I spent so much time in the library. I think it will not be the last. I was there to study with JunHong. Actually, he was studying his Phy & Econs while I was reading the book, "Mere Christainity" for the whole afternoon. And I still haven finish reading it.. Sigh...
Well.. I'm not a Christian but I suppose it is helpful to know a little bit more abt it. I'm left with the last 40 pages but i just finished reading the main part tt drew my interest, the values. I guess I'm more of a "values" person than "god" kinda person.
The Origin. 8/07/2005 09:41:00 am
Wrote a blog entry abt the incident but took it off because I do not want to stoop to their level. What happens in the family, shld stay within the family. Any complaints whatsoever shld be sorted out at tt level. I shld not make make a big fuse abt it outside the family. This is wat I learnt from my boss. A valuable lesson which I dun think I'll get to learn from my own family.
The Origin. 8/06/2005 10:03:00 am
Currently, a colleague of mine is wooing a gal he met during his physio therapy session.. +_)*&%$ I go physio so many times and I dun even see a gal!!!
Anyway, another fren of mine once said, " The chase is always the best part." I tend to agree.
The fact that u do not know wat is on her mind, the opportunity to try, the effort put in.... So many elements tt contribute to it. Making it a memory worth savioring even if it wasn't successful.
By the way, since we are at this, I must stress on 1 major pt:
NEVER ONLY watch a movie for your 1st date! - It is a stupid move. You dun get to interact, you dun get to know each other better.... If you insist on a movie, at least couple with a dinner or sth.
(This is a reminder for myself!! lolz)
The Origin. 8/04/2005 07:04:00 pm
This is my 2nd post today..
Read this article abt a reader's response to an article on religion today. The title is "Religion is a choice, Don't mix it with politics".
The writer's 1st pt was abt religion shld be the choice of the child and he/she need not take after tt of his/her family.Thus his/her freedom of choice. I think it involved a certain degree of crap to raise such a pt. The child is the responsibility of the parents since birth.His/her character growth, belief, value system and many more are affected by tt of his/her parents.It is natural tt the mindset has already been affected by the parents. Thus despite the promise of freedom, the choice has already been made since birth.
Of course, there are cases whereby children believe in different religions as their parents but those are mainly cuz of external reasons like religious organisations adopting commercial methods to get believers (this was one of the pts raised) or factors like parents are not at all firm believers of their own religion in the 1st place.
The writer then talked abt there being no need for religion. As much as I do not believe in a religion, I feel tt religions are essential. It gives the believers a set of values if they do not already have one. Believers are exposed to many others who share the same faith, helping them through their tough times, they tend to cherish themselves more. These are some things schools & education cannot provide or cannot ensure. Sometimes, even parents cannot do so.
The Origin. 8/01/2005 01:37:00 pm
Went to Pulau Ubin for the 1st time ytd. (though my mom said tt I have already been there but i dun recall so). Anyway, it was an impromptu decision among Qin Yi, Sharon, Jia Ming & myself after we met up for lunch on Sat.
So we met up at 0930 (actually, shld be at 0900 but as usual...) at Jurong East and finally reached Ubin at 1130, including the ferry ride. Anyway, we started cycling soon after and managed to cycle most (if not, all of) of the trails on the western side by 1415. We didn't go east cuz those are all jungle trails.
I amazed tt I can still cycle after so long. Lolz.. I enjoyed cycling through the jungle trails most abt the whole trip. There is a sense of falling and a level of conentration needed to avoid so. Well.. I got sunburnt, as usual..
Anyway, we left the island and went to Simei for late lunch cuz Sharon wanted to visit the Pet Safari. Nice place but shld be called Dogs Safari instead cuz there are only a handful of fish, rabbits & hamsters. The fish shop has less fish than those u see in the neighbourhoods. But seriously, the dogs looks very well groomed and obedient. I'm particularly amazed with the grooming shop. The dogs just stood there n allowed the ladies to cut their fur. I think I'll get a dog instead of having a child in future.
The Origin. 8/01/2005 01:12:00 pm