Chasing..

Saturday, January 27, 2007
I was in school this morning for the Math/Physics remedial lessons. For a group of us, it was a reality check saying, "So what if you got 4.5 cap?" This is because of the many questions we didn't know nor understand, the chinese scholars were able to comprehend and at times, corrected the tutor for mistakes. I admit that I have never had any close interactions with them and this (and also yesterday's french lesson) was my first up-close learning experience with them in the same class. To speak the truth, I have developed a sense of respect for them. This was driven from their willingness and guts to try even though they may not be correct (as in speaking during french lesson), and also their far-reaching knowledge.

Lessons ended with a demoralising beat and caused us to walk to the bus stop in a daze. I went to Macdonalds and so happened to meet some USP-ians who were having lunch there too. Damn lucky of me to manage to find lunch buddies on a Saturday afternoon in school. There was a little talk about how a guy's parents visit him frequently in hostel and they having "private sessions" every once a week. I thought it is amazing and nice. Made me wonder about my family. I will say that my parents care about me deeply. However, my family belongs to the category of being low-maintenance. There are many examples of such.

My family does not wait for one another to have dinner together. On normal days, we eat our dinner individually as and when it has been cooked, and when we feel hungry. It is only on Sunday when we sit down and eat as a family but this is subjected to whether we have our individual activities. In other words, unlike some people, Sunday is not equal to family day. Also, we were having dinner earlier at Bt Panjang Plaza. My food came later than my parents' ones and they were almost done by the time I started. In the end, they left after they were done and went shopping. Leaving me alone on the table to eat. It is nothing. It is just us.

Furthermore, I can stay home all day and speak less than 10 sentences to any single person in my family. We don't sit around and watch the same show. In fact, my dad seldom watch tv with the rest of us cuz he is into channel surfing.

There are many more instances but i shall stop here... haha... Back to work... or maybe sleep..

Thursday, January 25, 2007

I realised that a lot of what I say here seem to be circulating around in Chatterbox. For example, a day after I said that I will eventually have to drop USP, there were a few people asking me, "Kenneth, why u want to drop USP?"

The truth is that I do not intend to drop USP until the day I fly off to France. There are many sides to this issue and of course, many reasons. The first side is of course, I will have to drop USP if I go to France. This is because I do not want to kill myself by having to take 7-8 mods per semester like godly Jit Soon. I am already a living embodiment of "no-life" as it is. (I have no idea how Jit Soon manages his time so well and has time to play WoW) So if I do not wish to kill myself, I can not hope to complete USP and DDP at the same time.

Now, for why I refuse to drop USP until I get to France. The reason is also pragmatic and this will also clear some doubts about the selection for DDP. I have only passed the first test for DDP, that is to get a gd CAP and pass the interview (which I have labelled as crap because most of the Chem eng ppl who went, got in).
The 2nd round will come later this year as a test from NUS. I will have to pass this before they will raise my name up to Grandes Ecoles. In other words, if I fail, I'll have to stay here....
The 3rd is a test by Grandes Ecoles. I'll have to pass that before I can finally go there.
Finally, the fact is that there are quite a few chemical engineers who go into the programme but there is only 1 or 2 Grandes Ecoles that provide courses on or closely related to chemical engineering. Thus there is a limited number of seats for poor chemical engineers and if I should pass everything, I may be offered some other unrelated courses like science or electrical engineering. Then I'll have to consider taking up the offer again.
Given all these hurdles, I will want to keep USP in case I get kicked out of DDP somewhere along the way.

Finally, for why I want to stay in USP. Haha.. Apart from the apparent love of meetings of USP-ppl, I kinda like the community being formed there. Maybe I have begun to feel a sense of belonging to USP/USC. Furthermore, I like the way classes are conducted. No doubt, some people (including myself) give stupid comments at times, the great thing is that there is an environment set up whereby you don't really bother what people might think of your questions. The lecturers are nicer than those we have in engineering.

Thus the final answer is that I do not want to drop USP if I can.

(Ha. I realised how awfully structured this entry is but oh well..I am conserving power for writing paper 1 later.. haha..)

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

I neither love nor hate eating fish. For a long time, it had been take your time to eat the fish and no complaints about the bones. To speak the truth, I do enjoy the taste of fish meat. However, I don't remember when it began but of late, I dread the sight of fish on the dining table. It is not because of the trouble of picking out the bones, I assure you. I don't mind the effort to eat the fish. The thought that strikes is in fact, 'damn.. how long is this meal going to take me?' This is always the case when I see my beloved chilli crabs being laid out on the dining table. I think it is pathetic. I understand the fact that a person has only 24 hours a day and personally, I need an average of 7 hours of sleep, give or take 1 hour. For most part of my days, I spend in school. Be it, studies or meetings. Yes, meetings which are utter waste of time but are needed to sort things out. Then there are the important people in my life who I very much like to spend time with. Given all these constraints, some things just have to go. Like the time spent at the dining table or the time spent watching the HK serial that is running to TV. This sucks.

I'm 21 and I fully understand these facts of life but why am I lamenting about them here? Well.. It could be because of the devastating french lesson I attended in the morning or the email that says that french technical preparatoy lessons start this saturday from 9 to 1230 or it could be that I realised that I am behind the lessons even though it is only week 3. Suddenly the question, 'hey.. why don't you make your life easier by not taking up French DDP?' I guess it is only natural to think of this but from past experience, when I choose the easy way out, I only live to regret them after everything. I also understand that life is not like your computer games where everything progresses with increasing difficulty. Therefore, all I ask for today and henceforth is for the strength to see these through to the end. Have I also mention how much I hate choices at time? This is one of those time.

Friday, January 19, 2007

This week has not been a good week. I was pissed & partly disappointed with a few things and faced with the tides of confusion over what the stupid lecturer was talking about. I ended up buying a 70 bucks textbook to help myself. This is called self-help. Furthermore, I am currently sick with fever and cough, and I just missed an outing with the scss gang to celebrate qin yi's b-day.

In fact, the only good thing was to get accepted into ddp, which I also have something to be sad about as I will eventually have to drop USP. Then I question, 'will the friends I make there still remain my friends? or are our friendship built on daily interactions and superficial talking? Not the indepth understanding of one another?' Still, the opportuniy is too great to be missed. A talk to a friend online the other night and a simple sms from an acquaintance sealed my decision. I guess I have long made the decision but I just needed the words to give me strength. Also, thanks to my 'part-time' for her great help in my essay.

Anyway, I started with the word 'pissed' because everything that can go wrong just seems to go wrong when I am slightly lazy. At 830 pm, my parents were going to bt panjang plaza and I asked them to do me a favour by helping me to get my photocopied material from the shop there. I told them that there were 3 sets of originals. When they got home at 9, there were only 2 sets. Thus I had to go down to ask for my last set of notes. My father (as usual) was (let's just say) not exactly helpful when I was preparing to leave the house. It turned out that the person placed the notes separately, when I handed them the originals all in 1 bag. To add on to my already pissed mood, they quoted me $18 which seemed to be over the rightful price. I asked them to count the papers again. The price was then counted to be $11! Bloody hell. I then asked the person to fasten the original back. I could have done it myself but I was pissed. The person was obviously pissed by my request but she just did it anywayz. That I have to give it to her. However, I did help her in the process of fastening when I calmed myself down substantially.

Then I vaguely recall that the last time I asked for a favour along this line, I ended up having to go and do the job myself. It is like there is somebody up there who is saying, "Dear Kenneth, it is not good for you to be lazy, u know?" pissed.... (This is a joke btw. I have calmed myself down with sushi supper)

The simple thing about me that I have realised again is that when something goes wrong, I do not go around blaming people or point out what could have been done to prevent it. I just do what can be done to make things right...

Thursday, January 18, 2007

It is irritating how you can have a splitting headache but you just can't get to sleep....

Well.. I got accepted into French DDP and the reason for me being up now is because my brain has been going thru the pros and cons of joining the programme, right from the moment my head hits the pillow. There are 3 set-backs that I found out thus far:

1. I will eventually drop USP at the end of the day because of DDP's workload. It will mean that I will not complete my initial goal of learning more about other areas outside engineering. And of course, not to end up sounding like one of those boring engineering lecturers. However, after last sem, I realised that the reality of engineering + USP + CORS system means the illusion of being able to learn what I want to learn has been destroyed.

2. Grandes Ecoles only accept a certain number of chem engineers. Thus I might end up learning about another engineering should I get in. However, a job is just a job to me. I don't love or hate what I study. Thus it doesn't really matter.

3. The increase workload of course. I shall try to handle them and handle them well.

Thus my decision is to acept the offer.

By the way, the reason for me getting rid of the previous skin is cuz some USP ppl (who are expert close readers) commented that some of the words (which I never did noticed) on the skin sounds stupid. But the fact is that you can never choose a perfect blogskin if u r lazy to create one urself. In addition, the formatting error on the skin cause big pics to overlap to the right which sux la.

*My simple line about affairs of the heart (in absolutely poor english): like means like, don't like means don't like. No matter how much one does, don't like still means don't like. But if like, no need to do much also like. Thus there is no point in doing so much for somebody who doesn't like u nor be upset over someone who doesn't like u. :)

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

I suppose I just have to post this. Especially since I got it off a friend's friend's blog as she scanned and uploaded the article to her blog. I cannot totally deny the accusation posed by the writer because according to him "no matter how much some men deny it, that it's true". My stand is simple: it is natural for guys to like somebody and get to know her better through friendship and also to fall for the somebody during some point in the friendship. However, it is not always the case as there are times when you simply view the girl only as a friend. I feel that I am threading on dangerous grounds here. Therefore I shall not proceed further.

Monday, January 15, 2007

I guess I'm pretty open about my thoughts on my blog. At least this is the kind of feedback i got from friends who just tune in to my blog. In any case, it is just a choice that was made. The reasoning at that time was simple: I want to know more about people. I can't get people to open up to me unless I take the first step to do so. I guess after that, this mindset just creeped into my blog. Still, there is a certain portion of my thoughts that is kept in the shadows.

On another note, I quote a friend, "Nobody appears in Chatterbox for no reason." (Chatterbox is the name of our lounge in USP, Btw) I totally agree with him but only the sentence and not the implied meaning. He was implying something along the lines of getting attached. The dark pessimistic me thinks, "We appear there because we are afraid of the changes around us. The fear of moving around without friends. The silly sides of us are afraid of having lunch alone. We are dying for the basic sense of company because many of our friends are taking different modules from us." It is a scary thought if u think about it. Still it is somthing nice to feel a sense of belonging to it despite the multiple arrows.

Along this line, people are fundamentally flawed and others see the flaws before they see anything.

finally, I am on a survey to ask, "What are guys attracted to in girls?" So far, I have found these 4 answers, 1. big eyes, 2. pony-tailed, 3. thick lips, 4. braces + rim-less specs.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

I have no idea why but there seem to be a perfect little place in my kitchen for ants to commit suicide. It is kettle. For a long time, we have found dead ants (1 or 2 per day) in the kettle almost everyday. And just yesterday, I witnessed the amazing lunge executed by an ant. 1st, it walked near to the edge of the water. Next, it climbed back up the slope apparently to get out. However, mid-way upwards, it jumped! It did not look like a slip and fall because of the angle and arch of the jump. The ants must be getting really stressed up too.

On another note, over the past 3 days, 3 guy friends had told me about their attraction towards girls, i.e. what they are attracted to in girls in terms of looks. 1. Big eyes (one of the usual), 2. Thick lips (ha.. I heard of this be4 but this is the first time I hear it from somebody i know) and lastly, 3. ponytail-ed. I thought that the last is pretty funny la.. but oh well.. i have my weird attraction too. Ha.. Hint: It isn't physical but I find it strange.

Anywayz, I went for a session with the cleft kids in KK Hospital yesterday. This time, it was done together with some pplz from USC. Hmmm.. Funny how things can turn out so. When school started, I made the decision not to touch voluntary work for some time. However, there I was yesterday, helping out a little and playing with the kids. Despite being part of the team, I am still not prepared for the level of commitment.

By the way, have any of you read the article by Sumiko Tan today? Basically, it was about how she grew tired of people not meeting her expectation and her wanting to meet theirs or sth along this line. I guess this is part of life. I remember that I was something like that but I grew out of it. Maybe it was the period when I was in the Army or maybe it was earlier. I forgot. A part of me is still yearning to be the goodie-two-shoes that everybody likes but the a**hole in me is more dominant now.. wahaha... I have no issue with people failing to meet my expectations probably because I believe that nobody owes me anything. Furthermore, as a friend quoted, "you are the change you want to see in this world." Don't expect others to change for u.

Ok. Enough crap. Second semester has started and I am taking 6 modules. Somehow this semester seems to be going faster than the last. Horrible. SOMEBODY SAVE~ ME!

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Over the last month, I came to a simple conclusion about why I do not really want to have children in future. It is simply because I have great parents who have worked to give me the best they can. This, in a way, adds on to the stress of being one. On this note, I cannot stand parents who marry off their daughters as though they are selling the girls away. I pity the girls.

A friend asked me about how to move on. I guess there is a difference between guys and girls. Guys cannot multi-task very well. Thus when work comes into the picture, the sad memories will be driven out.

Friday, January 05, 2007

Dear Ah_Ken of tomorrow,

This letter is written in goodwill to remind you of what you had set out to do yesterday, for you seem to have forgotten all about them today. Maybe you just needed a rest from studies and all, or maybe you were just a little bit too satisfied with your results. Then again it may be because of the festive seasons that have led to the change in mood. Whatever the case, let me now list your priorities out for you here:

1. You are a student. It is obvious that you should focus your efforts on your studies. Furthermore, your friends, who are already working, have constantly reminded you of the benefits of studying. Just a quote, "When you study until you stress and you 'seh' your textbook, the textbook will not scold you back."

Let me also stress that although your results are above your expectations, you really not that good. You can't afford to put in less effort than you did for last semester, especially now that you are taking 6 modules.

Furthermore, please do not repeat your mistake last semester. Do you remember how you simply lose your steam after the mid-term breaks? Make sure that you don't fall into that again this semester.

2. Your applications for scholarships before was met with rejections and you know that it was not just for the reason that you did not take any 'S' papers. It was also because you had an average CCA record. You realised your mistake and had set out to take on more responsibilities after you set foot into NUS. You chose to work for USC because you felt closer to home (in NUS) there. Although you may be a bit burnt out from the various committees you are in, you know that they serve as a good learning experience for a greenhorn like you.

In addition, you also knew that you are not the most capable person there is but you believe that a positive attitude can help you to learn more to become one. Do not slack in this sense.

3. It is natural for people to want to find a partner to share their love and joy with. However, with your other priorities, you know you cannot give your 100% into a relationship at this point in time. And knowing you, you will want to give 101% into it. Thus you should not even had entertain thoughts of getting into one. Not now. Then again, I know you probably had made the decision after much contemplation as your experience had shown you the need to think through before acting on any feelings. Oh well.. It seems that she is not interested. So let's not make it any worse ok?

4. Do you remember why you wanted to join USP? It was for the opportunities. However, you have not taken up much thus far. Maybe you have adapted so well to Uni life that you are already very comfortable. It is time to kick yourself out of your comfort zone. Move it.

I know that all these will probably bring your stress level to greater heights, especially with school starting in 2 days time. However, you have your share of a slack holiday this December. Time to start your engine, kid.

Yours Sincerely,
Ah_Ken of today

PS: I chose to blog in this style because I initially wanted to write another letter but I chose not to.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

I forgot to bring my laptop charger home!!!! Just how blur can I get?? I was unloading some stuffs to pack my bag in order to squeeze my laptop into it and I forgot to put my charger back in!!!! Argh!!!! Luckily, this was all done in the MC room and I can go back to school tmr to get it. As a result, I am going to type this entry in top speed as the battery in running low. (Turned out tt my laptop showed me the low batt pop-up and I just switched to my old old desktop to type this...)

On to the subject, I have decided to apply for the French Double Degree programme. I must stress that the decision was largely made even before I went for the talk this afternoon. In fact, my desire to sign up was slightly reduced during the talk because the prof was advertising the programme as though it is a sucky programme and we had completely no interest in it. In short, he sounded desperate. However, I still want to apply for it as (you probably already know) I want to live in a foreign land and experience the culture. Maybe I'm just a wee bit sick of Singapore or maybe I just believe that the grass is greener on the other side. Of course, I know that there is a lot of hard work involved. I am willing to live my life as a study-holic. lol.. As my "evil" sister puts it, "you don't have gf now, so burn all your saturdays also nvm la." I'm not going to ask u guys to pray for me that I get in as it is not some life & death situation to me, and I'm ok if I dun get it in the end.

By the way, I was encountered a funny scale of measurement for time today. I was asking my friend if he wants to apply for the DDP. He replied, "It takes 1 dota game to type the essay and 2 dota games to go for the interview leh." This guy got a cap of 4.4 by the way.

We later went on to the topic of bgr and he asked me what is my type of girl. Haha.. I found great difficulty giving him a reply because I was typing my essay (I suck in multi tasking) and I seriously have nth much looks-related stuffs that I look for in a girl. Just that from experience, I like slim girls. I know this is the "wrong" way of thinking but it is natural, I guess. Other than that, there was nothing much I could think of in terms of looks. I am more concerned with her having her own aspirations and has the drive to pursue them. And other stuffs of course..

Then I realised that all my "desperateness" seem so fake. I said, "why? you wanna intro girls to me huh?....intro girls to me leh.." I hardly meant it and even if he did introduced some girls to me, I'll probably tell him not to be lame. The truth is: despite all my kbs about getting attached, some part of me just don't mind remaining single. And no matter how hard I try, the simple line, ".. want to be friends.." is enough to make me stop my stupid pursue. I dunno why.. It kind of sucks.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

If u do not already know, my sister got married to Francis yesterday. There was a tea ceremony in the morning and a wedding dinner + solemnisation in the evening. The morning part was a bit tedious with the movement between the 2 houses but was fun. I personally thought the dinner was the more touching part. There were the solemnisation and the speeches by Fanny and my sis. An immediate after-thought by my sister was, "So fast finish solemnisation already arh.. like less than 5 mins over le."

Just some personal (may be slightly cynical) thoughts:
1. My father's mother came for the tea ceremony in the morning. Well.. I was busy and did not go over to talk to her. It was so until at one pt, I had to go past her to get the phone. She grabbed hold of me when I did so. It was a bit of a shock for me. I spent some time sitting with her and hearing her as I wasn't listening for I don't understand a single word she said. I couln't help but wonder if she had chosen to live with my family when we were poor back then, would things have been different? There's no use crying over spilled milk. Move on already.
2. Your wedding photographer, bridal gown designe, hair stylist are just the people who are more knowledgeable in the practices and traditions of marriages.
3. There are people on ur wedding dinner whom u have to invite rather than want to invite. It is irritating in this sense. There are people u just dun wanna see on ur wedding night but u have to.

Dun get me wrong. I am happy for my sister. But the cynic in me just have such thoughts.

Monday, January 01, 2007

This was 2006's Resolution:
1. To at least touch a person's heart this year. From here on, at least 1 per yr. (easier said than done)
2. To become closer to my ideal
3. get attached? (haha...)
4. get into study mode
I am at least 1 step closer to being my ideal and am also in study mode. I have taken up more commitments that I had in the past and had fared well in my studies despite the commitments. As for pt 1, I really don't know. I probably had not done anything that touched anybody's heart. As for getting attached... Haha... I'm still single... Sigh...

All in all, it was still a good year cuz:
1. I ORD-ed.
2. My sis is getting married 2 days into 2007. - I know it is in 2007 but the preparation started in 2006 ok?
3. I got a good but not excellent CAP.

Went to Bi Ying's place for a chill out countdown session with Kayjal & Rithish but we got kind of bored, and went to Marina Bay to see the fireworks.

I realised the major character flaw in myself to be unable to interact with people holding the status of parents, relatives or siblings of my friends. The interactions usually leave me in an I-dunno-what-to-say position and are very taxing to my "pea brain". I guessed this is why I never liked to interact much with teachers either.

I also feel that I know my priorities a little too well. It is good but it sucks too at times. It just brings the cynics into you.

2007 New Year Resolution:
1. Get into the French DDP - Need to see how it'll affect me and stuffs before taking up but I have the want for it.
2. Touch a person's heart
3. Get attached? - haha.. am I taking things too slow? damn.
4. Maintain my CAP - and not fall into the usual trend of falling CAP.
5. Be a nicer Kenneth - This is crap la. It'll probably not see the light of tomorrow (or later).
6. Be a better parents/siblings/relatives/teachers/etc. interactor?

i AM myself
Name: Kenneth aka Ah_Ken
DOB: 14 Jul 85
Current Status: Mugging my life away in NUS. Life is a BIG deception!
Residence: Bt Panjang
Likes: Chocolate, Soft Shell Crab (Cuz I'm LAZY), Shopping, Slacking, Reading Manga.. Dislikes: None I can think of at the moment..
Short Term Dream: Get my ass to France for SEP at least.
Long Term Dream: A nice condominium at Marina Bay or in Orchard cuz... very atas la!!
Description: Just ur average guy...

your voice

quotes

"You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true." - Dr. Meredith Grey from Grey's Anatomy

'How happy is the little Stone
That rambles in the Road alone,
And doesn't care about Careers
And Exigencies never fears-
Whose Coat of elemental Brown
A passing Universe put on,
And independent as the Sun
Associates or glows alone,
Fulfilling absolute Decree
In casual simplicity-' - How happy is the little Stone by Emily Dickinson

'This is your last chance.
After this, there is no turning back.
You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe.
You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.' - Morpheus, The Matrix

'The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
Not because you'll get it, but because you're doomed not to want it if you do.' - Unknown

'There are plenty of people with good intentions who take the wrong actions in the end' - Gundam Seed Destiny

'Life is no straight and easy corridor along
which we must seek our way,
lost and confused, now and again
checked in a blind alley.

But always, if we have faith,
a door will open for us,
not perhaps one that we ourselves
would ever have thought of,
but one that will ultimately
prove good for us.' - A.J.Cronin

"Every life has one true-love snapshot
Strangers are just family you have yet to come to know
No life is a waste.
The only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone"

"A man can endure alot if he still has hope." - Clyde T. Ellis

" 'Appreciate It.' 2 simple words. A life span of gratitude." - Cinderella Man

"A boxer enters the ring alone. If knocked down, he alone could pick himself up and keep the fight going." - Cinderella Man

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot do." - Eleanor Roosevelt

"Jame J. Braddock: I know this isn't what you wanted. But I can't win if you're not behind me.
Mae: I'm always behind you."

"People die in fairy tales all the time." - Max Baer, Cinderella Man

"Maybe sometimes people need to see someone do it so they can do it." - Father Rorick, Cinderella Man

"You always got ot figure you're not the best man in the world, there might be somebody better. That's the way it was. That's the way boxing is. The champion don't always stand up. There's always somebody coming up to take him. That's a part of life." - Jame J. Braddock

"If either man falls through weakness or otherwise, he must get up unassisted" - The Queensbury Rules, No. 4

"All men have fears, but the brave put down their fears and go forward, sometimes to death, but always to victory" - Motto of the King's Guard in Ancient Greece

"With each passing day in a good marriage, the love for your spouse grow stronger than the day before" - Cinderella Man

"I take responsibility" - President George W. Bush

"Sow a Thought, and you reap an Act;
Sow an Act, and you reap a Habit;
Sow a Habit, and you sow a Character;
Sow a Character, and you reap a Destiny." - Samuel Smiles

"Our doubts are traitors,
And make us lose the good we oft might win
By fearing to attempt - Shakespeare in Measure of Measure

"What does your heart tell you?" - Aragorn, LOTR

"To an outstretched hand we shall respond with an olive branch, but we shall fight fire with the harshest fire ever." - Israeli PM Ariel Sharon

"To deny our own impulses is to deny the very thing that makes us human. " - The Matrix

"Be without fear in the face of your enemies. Be brave and upright that God may love thee. Speak the truth, always, even if it leads to your death. Safeguard the helpless and do no wrong. That is your oath." - Balian of Ibelin, Kingdom of Heaven

"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view... Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it." - Atticus Finch, To Kill A Mockingbird

"It is not our abilities that show what we truly are... it is our choices." - Dumbledore, Harry Potter

"Do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. Even the very wise cannot see all ends." - Gandalf, LOTR

"Ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind. Or forgotten." - Lilo & Stitch

"Your heart is free. Have the courage to follow it." - Malcolm Wallace, Braveheart

"Every man dies, not every man really lives." - William Wallace, Braveheart

credits.
rebelHEART host blogskins Miss M brushes

the past
01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004
02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004
03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004
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05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004
06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004
07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006
10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006
12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007
02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007
03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007
04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007
05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007
06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007
07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007
08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007
09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007
10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007
11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007
12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008
01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008
02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008
03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008
05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008
06/01/2008 - 07/01/2008
07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008
08/01/2008 - 09/01/2008
09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008
10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008
11/01/2008 - 12/01/2008
12/01/2008 - 01/01/2009
01/01/2009 - 02/01/2009
02/01/2009 - 03/01/2009
03/01/2009 - 04/01/2009
04/01/2009 - 05/01/2009
05/01/2009 - 06/01/2009
06/01/2009 - 07/01/2009
07/01/2009 - 08/01/2009
09/01/2009 - 10/01/2009
10/01/2009 - 11/01/2009
11/01/2009 - 12/01/2009
12/01/2009 - 01/01/2010
01/01/2010 - 02/01/2010
02/01/2010 - 03/01/2010
06/01/2010 - 07/01/2010
07/01/2010 - 08/01/2010

entries;

myself;

shouts;

quotes;

my past;