Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Here's the thing. Most of the time, I have control over what I feel or express to some extent. Some times, I choose not to be angry over some issues. On other times, I choose to do so. It is not a trigger that gets me on a mad spree of scolding people around. But rather, it is a stop in time where I decide whether to get that emotionally affected by it that I allow things to go out of hand a little. At least, this is what I would like myself to believe in at least. After the choice has been made to just let the anger be expressed, that is where control is lost momentarily.
Then there is the one issue which I have always let it past because there is essentially nothing much I can do. And also nothing much that I want to do. Every time it occurs, I simply fill my mind with a million and one other things just to keep it out. At times, I just blank myself out because there is nothing to be done even if I bother myself with it. It is escapism to some extent. Helplessness too. Well.. It finally caught up with me this morning. I was afraid that if I let it get by me any more often, I would lose whatever values that I hold on to. I guess by being afraid, I haven't lose that much of them. Yet, with all these thinking, there is still nothing I can do about it. So what's the point? And the frightening thing is that once it got to me, it hung on to me. I just didn't feel like meeting anybody because I did not want to talk. I didn't succeed though. In any case, it is still clinging on now.
I remember once that I told a good friend that I do not like to talk about the sad things in my life. But when I told her how screwed up my life is, it made her feel better about her own life already. Still, there are the good things that make my life pleasant and I can't really go around complaining.
The Origin. 3/11/2008 09:58:00 pm
Friday, March 07, 2008
Have you ever been in a moment when you feel that the particular place you are in is special or unique? It doesn't have to be some place nice or beautiful. It could be a place you been to every other day or a scene you have seen many times before. For example, one of these moments happened to me just the other day. We just finished our test and were handing our papers to the invigilators. I was one of the first to hand in as I was near the beginning of the line. As I sat back and stared at the ceiling, I heard the voices of people start to increase and it just felt special. It was as if I could "see" the voices fill up the whole MPSH and just keep reflecting back after they hit the ceiling. Only to be covered up by "new comers" made by the people around. Maybe it was that I didn't feel like talking about the paper, I was probably one of the few silent ones around, and the moment just felt different and special.
The Origin. 3/07/2008 11:29:00 pm
Saturday, March 01, 2008
I have a theory about the coveyor belts in sushi bars - they make you eat more! It has something to do with them "crawling" around or in front of you as you eat. Makes you keep thinking about the next plate of sushi as you are eating what is on your table.
It may have something to do with their numbers too. Plates followed by plates of sushi entering the dining area from a mysterious rubber flap. Their shear numbers and replenishment rate must be another marketing strategy to get customers to eat more as they eat.
And of course, the way that they are being lay out of the plates tempts one to take them off the belt.
These were my thoughts as I walked to the sushi shop to take-away some sushi for dinner for the second time this week. For each meal, I spent only about a third of what I would normally spend if I were in a sushi bar, and I am already quite full from the meal. Thus my theory.
Another thought that came to me as I was choosing which sushi to get was - if there were such things as retribution and reincarnation etc., I would probably be reincarnated to be a salmon.
The Origin. 3/01/2008 07:00:00 pm
