originality; cold-fire

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Am I feeling anymore? I have no idea. This is how it works. On some days, it is simply a case of parallel events or reality, while on others, it is just everything. It is simply that irritating. In a nice way, the exams and impending holidays come in the form of a fake get-away from it all. Get away from the simple things that kick up the settling dust of emotions. Thus right now, as I looked through the emails and stuff, it was simply a case of "oh. this had happened."

It may have got something to do with the degrees of separation that is in between for now. Such that I am afraid of lessening this and face the possibility of falling back into the past. Well.. It is obvious that some time when I am older, I'll probably look back and think of this period as lame but still for now, I am only human. Degrees of separation help in loads of way.

The Origin. 11/29/2008 10:44:00 am

Monday, November 24, 2008

Back when we first moved into this current house of mine, a feng shui shi fu was hired to help us with the floor plan, like where should the bed and study tables be. When designing my room, he pointed out that my table should face the wall instead of the window in my room. I think (giving him the benefit of doubt) he was largely correct in that decision. Knowing myself, any other directions would have made me uncomfortable and easily distracted. Or maybe that's just cuz I am so used to studying in my room in that position.

In any case, I am currently staying in my sis's ex room. The view here is distracting so to speak. Right in front of me a flat laid over the slowly brightening sky. At 0630 in the morning, it is a nice thing to see those little cages light up as their residents each slowly wake up for another day of druggery. At the same time, it is also consoling that I am not the only poor bastard who has to wake up this early for studies or due to insomnia. Maybe it is the direction of the windows too, such that if I am slightly awake at around 6, I would get to hear the opening of metal shuttles. This had been a fairly strange thing for me until I figured out that it is around this time that our friendly area cleaner gets to work and has to open the rubbish chute for some reason.
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I guess words are only words. It is essentially the tone and the way you say it that matters. Since I entered university, I had gradually came into using this line which is essentially a strange habit of mine to find a certain combination of words fitting and may continually use it for a period of time. It was something of fascination and fun when it first started in sec sch or jc. I don't remember. However, right now, I didn't even notice myself using it often until 2 friends who just came back from SEP used the very line on me. The line is a simple "kai xin jiu hao" - happy can already.

I don't remember how I started using it. However, when the two friends used the line on me, they expressed pretty separate meaning. One is of nonchalent or a helpless-ness to do anything about everything or simply life in itself. Such that so long one thinks that he/she is happy, just continue as he/she sees fit. The other had more of a positive air to it. So long as we are happy with what we are doing, that enough.

I'm not sure if these exactly elaborate on the two sides of the same line. I guess it pretty much had to do with the people I am with and the stuff we talk about for them to get these diferent interpretations.
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On to another note, I have for a long period of time not talk about this. I had the thoughts about it but never got it down to blogging because it consists of some pretty loser mentality. It is about photography. In the years that followed after I bought myself my first camera, I had slowly grew tired of capturing the "moments" in life. Well.. I shall not deny that there are days when I feel like just capturing every small things in life. In any case, it begun at class gatherings where everybody wants their camera to capture the moment when all of us were together. Such that simple 1 shot sessions, took more than 5 mins. After returning from my one-month long immersion in France, it got worse. It probably had to do with the fact that after 1 month of playing around with my camera and experimenting, I grew tired of it and also I question the need to capture those moments when I am not exactly a good or diligent photographer. For people like me, the very act of experiencing the moment is more than what a photo capture may do.

The Origin. 11/24/2008 10:10:00 pm

Sunday, November 23, 2008

For some time now, I was afraid that it would come down to this. Selfishly and pathetically, I tried to prevent this eventuality but it has happened. Let's just call it a re-establishment of a mindset or should I say, with enforcement too?

It is a simple mindset that I had so readily thrown away slightly more than a year ago. It is a mindset that I lost for a period of time such that people who came to know me only then, now still thinks of me as somebody else. It is of immense disappointment that they should think of me so but it is something that I have to accept. This is mainly because much as I dislike that phase I was in, I was in it. It was as much of me as I would like to deny it.

No harm whatsoever. I guess I have lost something and gained something. It is a pity and a blessing that life is but a sketch. You never really know which way to live best because you never knew.

Vague? I guess I could be worse.

The Origin. 11/23/2008 10:36:00 pm

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

This is a weird thing to do but I have been very fascinated with the fact that the new channel - Okto has been showing pretty nice and cool films. For starters, I caught Evangelion - You're Not Alone on the channel last week. Appended below is the poster. If you click on the picture, you should get to the wikipedia article on it. Well.. Before you write it off as some boyish robotics anime, it is more than that. Well.. At least so if you compare it to the likes of Gundam Seed Destiny. I caught the full series when it was simply an anime series (this film is a remake of all the episodes.. sort of). In any case, the basic story-line plays on the concept of religion. Further to this, a large part of it focuses on ideas related to interpersonal relationships. One concept that was explicitly mentioned was The Hedgehog's Dilemma.

While watching Evangelion last week, I found out that they will be showing Vexille this Sunday (tomorrow). Well.. I confess! I like this film more for its doomsday sort of concept, which I have been forever strangely attracted to. The central theme running through this film is the question of humanity and what makes us human. Wait a minute.. Don't all anime-film talk about that? Haha.. Maybe it is just the films I watch.

Lastly, I also found out that "Hana and Alice" was to be shown tonight. Well.. To speak the truth, I was pretty skeptical about it initially but after watching films like Evangelion, I thought that it can't be that cheesy. A look at the synopsis shows that the film is infact pretty interesting. Click on the picture to access.

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A recent film I caught was Vicky Cristina Barcelona. Well.. Most people I know told me that it was a nice film and yes, I agree to that. Now, while everybody was fascinated about the beauty, passion, romance, yada yada yada of the film, I would like to bring to light the sadness behind it that Woody Allen had so successfully destroyed by casting a not-so-good-looking guy to the role of an ass-hole. I am refering to Doug. Much as he was a jerk who thinks very highly of himself, I pitied him as the film ended. He was like the poor bastard who doesn't have a clue. Then again, he may be the lucky bastard whose gf chose not to leave him in the end. I wonder which is better. hmmmmm

The Origin. 11/19/2008 09:21:00 pm

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

This link was recommended by one of my friends one or two months ago. drearyweary

It is a fairly interesting local comics series in the sense that it is essentially about life a singaporean. In some sense, it might come off as an average guy undergoing mid-life crisis and may be some boring piece of shit. I like it still because of its plain-ness and pretty direct way of expressing what the artist thinks. Maybe I am just like him, which is not exactly wrong because another friend, to whom I showed it to, commented that he sounds like me or vice versa.

There was a conflict at that point in time. It was between no longer feeling unique in holding my own views about life and finding a sense of peace in knowing that there are people who think like me. Coming to this, it is clear that while we are all endlessly trying to be unique, trying to break free of this regime, we are all just the same and forever remaining in any particular regime we have grown up to be in. All these talks about being special and belonging to a new generation of youth are simply propaganda to give one identity by making ourselves different from the others. When it comes down to it still, there are a million and one people out there who belongs to the same "generation" and thus are the same. So where is the difference?

That aside, and back to the main topic. Another reason for me liking the comics is its simple message of experiencing the beauty in life in Singapore as itself. There are so many things happening everyday that we fail to notice in our daily routines. The point is to slow down and experience, and especially not to be dragged down by prejudices and fail to take notice of these happenings.

The Origin. 11/18/2008 11:39:00 pm

Sunday, November 16, 2008

In a recent event that I went for, there were a total of 4 speeches made by fellow students. I had no problems with the speeches being less than perfect but I certainly had a problem with a lack of social grace. It was because speaker number 1 showed his appreciation to a certain group of people, and when speaker number 2 went on stage, he challenged that act of gratitude with a one-liner: "I don't think so" or sth along that line. the issue is of course not with it being a one-liner but simply that it is extremely impolite to challenge or take away somebody's praises for another. To make it worse, he displayed a strong sense of elitism in subsequent topics that he touched on. yucks. Truth be told, we are all not that special after all.

The Origin. 11/16/2008 08:28:00 pm

Sunday, November 02, 2008

This Ain't A Love Song - Bon Jovi

I should have seen it coming when roses died

Should have seen the end of summer in your eyes

I should have listened when you said good night

You really meant good bye

Baby, ain't it funny, how you never ever learn to fall

You're really on your knees, when you think you're standing tall

But only fools are "know-it-alls" and I played that fool for you

I cried and I cried

There were nights that died for you baby

I tried and I tried to deny that your love drove me crazy, baby

If the love that I got for you is gone

If the river I cried ain't that long

Then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong, this ain't a love song

Baby, I thought you and me would stand the test of time

Like we got away with the perfect crime but

We were just a legend in my mind

I guess that I was blind

Remember those nights dancing at the masquerade

The clowns wore smiles that wouldn't fade

You and I were the renegades, some things never change

It made me so mad 'cause I wanted it bad for us baby

Now it's so sad that whatever we had, ain't worth saving

If the love that I got for you is gone

If the river I've cried ain't that long T

hen I'm wrong, yes I'm wrong, this ain't a love song

If the pain that I'm feeling so strong

Is the reason that I'm holding on

Then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong - this ain't a love song

I cried and I cried

There were nights that I died for you baby

I tried and I tried to deny that your love drove me crazy

If the love that I got for you is gone

If the river I cried ain't that long

Then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong - this ain't no love song

If the pain that I'm feeling so strong

Is the reason that I'm holding on

Then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong - this ain't a love song

If the pain that I'm feeling so strong

Is the reason that I'm holding on

Then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong - this ain't a love song

Yes, I'm wrong, yeah, I'm wrong - this ain't a love song

The Origin. 11/02/2008 10:30:00 pm

quotes

"You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true." - Dr. Meredith Grey from Grey's Anatomy

'How happy is the little Stone
That rambles in the Road alone,
And doesn't care about Careers
And Exigencies never fears-
Whose Coat of elemental Brown
A passing Universe put on,
And independent as the Sun
Associates or glows alone,
Fulfilling absolute Decree
In casual simplicity-' - How happy is the little Stone by Emily Dickinson

'This is your last chance.
After this, there is no turning back.
You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe.
You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.' - Morpheus, The Matrix

'The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
Not because you'll get it, but because you're doomed not to want it if you do.' - Unknown

'There are plenty of people with good intentions who take the wrong actions in the end' - Gundam Seed Destiny

'Life is no straight and easy corridor along
which we must seek our way,
lost and confused, now and again
checked in a blind alley.

But always, if we have faith,
a door will open for us,
not perhaps one that we ourselves
would ever have thought of,
but one that will ultimately
prove good for us.' - A.J.Cronin

"Every life has one true-love snapshot
Strangers are just family you have yet to come to know
No life is a waste.
The only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone"

"A man can endure alot if he still has hope." - Clyde T. Ellis

" 'Appreciate It.' 2 simple words. A life span of gratitude." - Cinderella Man

"A boxer enters the ring alone. If knocked down, he alone could pick himself up and keep the fight going." - Cinderella Man

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot do." - Eleanor Roosevelt

"Jame J. Braddock: I know this isn't what you wanted. But I can't win if you're not behind me.
Mae: I'm always behind you."

"People die in fairy tales all the time." - Max Baer, Cinderella Man

"Maybe sometimes people need to see someone do it so they can do it." - Father Rorick, Cinderella Man

"You always got ot figure you're not the best man in the world, there might be somebody better. That's the way it was. That's the way boxing is. The champion don't always stand up. There's always somebody coming up to take him. That's a part of life." - Jame J. Braddock

"If either man falls through weakness or otherwise, he must get up unassisted" - The Queensbury Rules, No. 4

"All men have fears, but the brave put down their fears and go forward, sometimes to death, but always to victory" - Motto of the King's Guard in Ancient Greece

"With each passing day in a good marriage, the love for your spouse grow stronger than the day before" - Cinderella Man

"I take responsibility" - President George W. Bush

"Sow a Thought, and you reap an Act;
Sow an Act, and you reap a Habit;
Sow a Habit, and you sow a Character;
Sow a Character, and you reap a Destiny." - Samuel Smiles

"Our doubts are traitors,
And make us lose the good we oft might win
By fearing to attempt - Shakespeare in Measure of Measure

"What does your heart tell you?" - Aragorn, LOTR

"To an outstretched hand we shall respond with an olive branch, but we shall fight fire with the harshest fire ever." - Israeli PM Ariel Sharon

"To deny our own impulses is to deny the very thing that makes us human. " - The Matrix

"Be without fear in the face of your enemies. Be brave and upright that God may love thee. Speak the truth, always, even if it leads to your death. Safeguard the helpless and do no wrong. That is your oath." - Balian of Ibelin, Kingdom of Heaven

"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view... Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it." - Atticus Finch, To Kill A Mockingbird

"It is not our abilities that show what we truly are... it is our choices." - Dumbledore, Harry Potter

"Do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. Even the very wise cannot see all ends." - Gandalf, LOTR

"Ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind. Or forgotten." - Lilo & Stitch

"Your heart is free. Have the courage to follow it." - Malcolm Wallace, Braveheart

"Every man dies, not every man really lives." - William Wallace, Braveheart

credits.
rebelHEART host blogskins Miss M brushes