Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Here I am sitting on a bench beside a river, watching the river flow and watching people go by. I would like to just sit here doing nothing and watch all day but I know that it isn’t possible. I am not that kind of person. Sitting here with my laptop is the closest I can get. Ha.. Too impatient? Maybe.
A pair of mothers went by with their kids, 2 old men came and sat on a bench not too far from mine and they are conversing pretty loudly (I can hear them even with my headphones blasting jap techno [This song is randomly played]). There were some joggers and a couple who skated by. As I was typing the last line, a cyclist went by and the two old men just left.
Boring shit? In a way, yes. Yet, along with this simple boring shit, is a sense of freedom and liberty from the regimes of life. Mind you, I am not just talking about the bureaucracy, the systems in place, the schedules in life (as a good example, what Singapore provides us with). The regimes include stuff like the need to make small talks with somebody else, to consider others…. It is freedom and liberty that comes with solitude too. I am enjoying it now. (another cyclist just went by and a middle age black guy is walking past me right at this moment. Another couple just skated by and the girl seemed pretty vibrant and sweet in her pink top and a bunch of pink flowers in her hand).
Years ago, I would have thought that such activities (if you even call it one) should be done with somebody else. Somebody special. Now, I am here alone and somehow, there isn’t the feeling of longing anymore. Satisfied with the simple things in life like a moment. Not a special moment or the moment but a simple moment.
A common view would be I have been hurt badly. If I were a third party, I would have drawn that conclusion too. I guess I have to thank the time we spent apart. It brought to me a sense of emotional independence that I have not attained before. And well maybe some spices of hurt did add to it but I would attribute more to my growth than to the hurt.
Voila~ I am ending here. There isn’t anybody in sight now given that it is dinner time and the temperature is dropping.
-20:02, 13 Apr 2009, Compiegne
The Origin. 4/14/2009 02:45:00 am