Tuesday, September 29, 2009
With a wound that big, you might as well just laugh about it.
The stages of recovery from falling are like this.
Right after the fall. The first word was either fuck or shit. Well you get the point.
Then the instinct to get up kicked in. The first movement was to get back on my feet.
The next was to look at the how. What caused it.
After which, it was to get away from it all. Leave the scene of crime and try to clear the evidence as though he has been charged for clumsiness.
Yet, with a wound tt big, it was impossible to get rid of all evidence. Finally the acceptance and all.
I hate falling. Nobody likes it, I guess. I think it is now a big step to eventually laugh abt it. I think I didn't use to be able to do so. I used to beat myself up abt stuff like this. This is a change.
The Origin. 9/29/2009 10:28:00 pm
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
I am back to using this age-old blog skin. I believe it accompanied me for quite a fair bit when I first started out blogging. Come to think about it. I believe it was xin ru who helped me out with blogging. It sure has been a long time since I started this track. As I looked back at the first few entries which I typed, I couldn't help but laugh at how they were typed. They just sounded so JC. I guess that is the point - to look back in time every now and then.
In any case, I believe that I did take into account the words on the blog design when I chose it for the first time. However, right now, it is just convenient considering the one I was using had some image problems. I still like the background design though.
We spend life chasing. The very basic idea is to chase one thing after another. Everybody is chasing after something, be it the act itself is something to hold on to or the object of interest. I chose the word chasing precisely because it reflects the objects of interest very well. The objects are forever changing. Whoever said that we should set out goals and work towards them is so wrong. Our goals change with time. One may see it from the perspective of stages in life where we go for different goals in different stages or one may see that, the goal we have today may be obsolete by tomorrow. The simplest example is that of obtaining a degree. The new in thing is to have 2 degrees. Or to have a powerful cv with your degree. Dream jobs are different with each passing day too. Teachers are no longer just teachers. Do I have to say more?
Having live the life of a simpleton on SEP, this life is now a little hard to accept. But this is life and well.. one just have to deal with it. I am not having some bleak view about life, I am still seeing the small beautiful things in life and I think life by itself is largely beautiful.
In any case, I am looking for a change now...
The Origin. 9/23/2009 11:43:00 pm
Saturday, September 19, 2009
I walked a fair bit today. I walked to Lot One to meet yt for dinner and after which, walked all the way back. I remember the last time I took a long walk in Singapore was about 10 months ago. Well.. The walk today is nothing compared to the ones I took before. I remember walking from orchard to People's park.
The return trip was the more enjoyable one. I was not rushing to anywhere in particular. It started drizzling and I had oldies playing from my mp3 player. There was a sense of nostalgia that came with the interplay of oldies and orange light from the street-lamps.
Music, rain and light from street-lamps are like the components of a beautiful moment for me. Somehow, when they come together, they make me feel erm... at peace? or that the world is beautiful?. Of course, all these being said, I wouldn't enjoy them if I were to get drenched in the rain. Haha.. I am such a spoilt Singaporean.
I also remembered how whenever I came across such a feeling, be it in such a situation or others, I would have wished that there was somebody I could share the moment with. It was the emotional longing for a company. Today, it was different. I only remembered the longing as sth of the past. I did not feel the longing.
As I typed this entry, I also remembered that back when my passion for blogging was greater, I would insist on using less of the 'I'. I hated the word because it gave a sense of being so full of oneself. Today the word appeared just so many times.
The Origin. 9/19/2009 11:45:00 pm
I learnt something from a film full of vulgarities, random bashing and with the last 15 mins looking like some RPG where the hero had to fight multiple bosses - one of whom was known as The Poet.
I took away one great lesson from the film - the tragedy of a simple person. Basically, a simple person is a lie. He only wants to be simple because he had took so much risk, gave so much and somehow everything or all his hope were let down. He got so disappointed in taking chances or making the human connection anymore that he just wants to start afresh as a simple guy with nothing to commit to whatsoever. Thus the simple guy is just a timid guy who is afraid of taking chances anymore. However, every once in a while, he would try to establish or go back to the path or go onto a similar path as before. As much as he was afraid of complications in his life, he was also attracted to them.
I shall now aim to be normal instead of simple!
The Origin. 9/19/2009 12:18:00 am
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Yes! Blogger is finally working fine today. I confess that I have a lack to words to describe things going on nowadays. It is probably due to the loads of work that doesn't seem to go away. I guess this is part and parcel of FYP and ISM - there are no fix assignments but rather work is constantly there.
I have not blogged for quite some time mainly because life is stagnant and filled with the usual. There isn't any beautiful sunsets or nice evening sitting on the bench as I did in France. Life now happens in a protective air-conditioned room. Frankly there is nothing really exciting to tell.
Well. There are only two special things that happened within the last week or so. The first being a rather unhappy one during which I found out that detachment is actually a lie. I was still affected. Then again, it may also be due to my general mood during that period of time.
The other special thing that happened was that I bought Zen X-fi! It was my happy event of the week. I won't compare it with players that I have not used because I feel that u cannot judge music equipments with just a few songs. However, it is definitely a big leap from my 5-yr-old i-river H10. The sound quality is great.
On the same note, during my market research on mp3 players, I was informed by friends that there is always a certain look or design to the electronic equipments that I purchase. I guess they are right. I do not have a word to describe this trend.
A friend asked me if it was worth the effort. The lucky number was 3. His pt of view was that it was not worth it. frankly, I don't really care abt his pt of view. I feel that at that pt in time, I felt it was worth the effort. 3 was the magic number. 3 became a very lousy number for some time but well.. now 3 is just a number.
The Origin. 9/15/2009 09:18:00 pm
Wednesday, September 09, 2009
Would it be loser-ish if I were to say that I still refer to an old mail to remind myself not wander back to the place where I was?
Detachment can be a lie. You can only feel detached when you are within a certain comfort zone. That is, you probably need to know everything before you can remove yourself from them all.
The Origin. 9/09/2009 08:59:00 pm
